Tonight’s situation. · Marriage Recovery Community

Tonight’s situation.

So tonight was kind of a tough one. Wife and I were sitting on the porch as we have been for a few weeks, where we just relax and chat. Tonight, the marriage was talked about. She went on about all the things that I’ve done and haven’t in the relationship, that I was or had been a weak man (that hurt), she expressed how she feels about us. She said that there were things that she couldn’t get over and can’t get past and that the separation was still going to happen. I took accountability for it, I let her vent. I stayed calm and grounded although it was hard to hear how I’ve made her feel. I told her that I’d be ok with her decision and that I’d still fight for what I wanted and that’s for our marriage, that no matter the outcome I’d still continue to grow into the man I am becoming. I’m trying to decipher if it was a “test”. She mentioned that she’s seen me walking around with my shirt off and flexing and that I was doing it to try to impress her. She went on to say that none of that matters to her, the changes in behavior that I’ve made, etc etc doesn’t make a damn anymore, that the change is to late. I responded that I wasn’t doing it for her, it’s for me, I’m gaining my confidence back, that’s why I’m walking around with my shirt off, I’m putting in the effort and I’m happy with my progress from working out physically and working out mentally. As I sit here, I’m trying not to focus on the outcome of a separation and that she truly doesn’t want this relationship any longer. It’s hard!! I’m telling myself it was a test, that she wouldn’t be saying that I’m the same if she hasn’t noticed change to see if I react. Maybe I am making her curious…..

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