Wife had a really bad day she had to get a train to London to train with work and was a mess up picking her ticket up! So she was late to head office But the time she got home (her home ) she was very stressed I was there having stayed up 22 hours took my son to school for her picked him up after about 4 hours sleep Done jobs in her house washing hoovering etc So when she was stressed I felt a bit attacked as she was just venting about needing space not just from me everyone ! She got emotional and started crying i held her and just said I get it i am here and I am listening! When she stopped crying I said bye to my son and went to my place I wasn't going to message her she knew I would see her in the morning so was surprised when she messaged me asking if I could pick some fruit up at work I work in asda another night shifts lets go lol But she also said thank you for the way I was with her and that she sees a real difference in how understanding I am being with her I take that as a win Tomorrow we go again !

Me and my wife had a discussion last night she told me that she misses sex but not with me. They upset me she said it won’t bother her if I wanna meet someone and I asked her if she had someone who asked her out on a date would she go? And she said yes?

Morning, guys. Not posted in a few days as I've been a bit busy with personal life stuff. I've also got a job interview tomorrow, so I'm actually looking forward to that. I had a bit of a hiccup with Tasha last night when I rang to speak to the kids before heading to Andy's Men's Club. Last week I mentioned that I knew she was struggling. I think I made a post about it. It's been difficult because when you care about someone, it's hard to take a step back, especially when you know they're having a tough time and all you want to do is make sure they're okay. When I was at Andy's Men's Club last week, the lads were brilliant. They suggested a few local resources that could help her, including Lancashire Women, and gave me some information to pass on. Afterwards, I spoke to her mum and mentioned what the lads had suggested. She told me she'd already made Tasha aware of those services, so I just said, "That's good, at least she knows they're there," and left it at that. Nothing more was said about it until yesterday. When I rang to speak to the kids before going to AMC, just before I got off the phone she said, "Oh, and don't be speaking about me while you're there. It's got nothing to do with them. I don't know why you're talking about me anyway. We're not together." I explained that I wasn't talking about her as a person. I was talking about how I was feeling about the situation. I told her that I still care about her, I know she's struggling, and that it's upsetting knowing I can't really do anything to help. I also explained that the only thing the lads had done was suggest some support services, which her mum had already told her about. She just replied, "Right, well, just don't talk about me again." I'm not going to lie—that hurt a little. Everything I'd said came from a place of genuine care. I wasn't criticising her or speaking badly about her. I was simply opening up about how difficult I was finding it watching someone I care about struggle while knowing it's no longer my place to step in.

1) Neediness. I learnt early on from another course than I needed to stop chasing, and did this quite early, avoiding blame, guilt, begging, breaking down etc. But I am certainly still guilty of over-communicating, wanting to talk about the relationship (even if just to validate), wanting to spend time around her and misinterpreting her kindness and care towards me as signs she still wants me. 2) Trying to Control and Steer the outcome. I am often pushing for conversations, weekly. I have checked her phone a few times and found text exchanges with her best friend and that she is in a Separation Group on Facebook, as well as looking at the toxic man-hating pro-divorce reels she is digesting on instagram. I feel guilty about checking her phone. And I know if she knew it would destroy trust again. Im going to try and not do this moving forward. I keep saying I feel there is a future where we grow and come back together and pushing her for whether she wants this. I got ‘maybe’ last time, which was a small win, but I know it added pressure and probably felt manipulative to her. 3) Using Logic. This was always my default. The initial problems started with me using logic, but she knows thats how I think. I learnt quite early not to use logic against emotion, and learnt not to bring the kids into it, so feel I am not too guilty of this Attraction killer at the moment. 4) Covert Contracts. I feel I have respected where she is at with this separation in her mind and her need for autonomy, and have been actively trying not to express my needs or expect anything from her. This has been very hard, as all I want is for some validation of my needs and I would love to see her working on herself, if not the marriage, but its all me. But I know not to put that on her.

Morning, guys! I haven't posted in a few days. It's been a bit of a weird week, but I just wanted to jump on here and share something that's actually given me a bit of hope. I've started to see the tools and lessons from this community genuinely working. Unfortunately, not with Tasha just yet. We're still only really talking about the kids, and that's okay. I'm respecting where she's at. But yesterday morning something happened with my eldest son that really stuck with me. He told me he was feeling upset. Normally, I probably would've jumped straight in with questions or tried to fix the situation. Instead, I used a lot of the techniques I've learned from this community. I stayed present. I listened. I stopped asking "why?" and instead asked questions that let him open up in his own time. Eventually, he told me that he misses Tasha. I'll be honest, that hurt to hear. ❤️ When you're going through a separation yourself, you're so caught up in your own emotions that sometimes you forget just how much the children are processing too. It was really important to hear things from his perspective. We had a really good chat, and he's decided he wants to tell Tasha how he's feeling as well. I think that'll be good for both of them because she's been such a huge part of his life. What really got me though was what he said afterwards. He looked at me and said, "I feel better now we've talked. I think we should do it more often." I told him I was trying to get better at talking about my feelings too. His response absolutely floored me. "At least you're trying, Dad. You're doing a good job. At least we're talking... all you can do is try." ❤️ Hearing that from my 10-year-old son meant more than I can put into words. I'm working so hard to become a better man, and knowing that he can already see those changes gives me hope that maybe other people can too. There have been a couple of setbacks this week as well. I had my call with Talking Therapies, and while they've given me some really useful resources, the waiting list is around 12–18 months, which was difficult to hear.