3 weeks in.. · Marriage Recovery Community

3 weeks in..

My partner of 8 years, mother to our 3 (almost 4) year old and 1 (almost 2) year old, left me saying that she loves me, but isnt in love with me.

Back story and context:

We met in August. "Together" in September. Pregnant in November. Terminated on Christmas Eve. We grew stronger because of this and knew that we were soulmates.

Fast forward to pregnancy #2, our first child. Her hormones were crazy, she hated me for 9 months. Back to 'normal' after birth. Then came the baby pressures. Shit gets real. We both start to run on empty and burn out slowly and silently. She dumped my via text message. I spiralled and ended up attempting an OD. We reconciled, and she cared for me but quickly this faded.

Fast forward to pregnancy #3, second child. Cycle repeats except worse. She hates the sight of me. Cant tolerate my presence. Stone cold with me. A female I knew online started offering the positivity, affection, and desire that I was missing from my partner. I latched onto this and fell into an emotional affair for 2 weeks. I got caught. She left me. We had couples therapy, we reconciled, we made it through.

Fast forward to Christmas 2025. She dumps me via text again on the 20th. We agreed to "pretend" everything was okay for the kids over Christmas and we would seperate in the new year. She very quickly decided she made a mistake and wanted to come back. I said that this would be the last time she could dump me and return. 6 months later, June 5th she tells me (in person this time) that she isnt in love with me, and she needs to leave. This one felt different. This felt planned and calculated. She had written a plan for when and where the kids would see each of us. She had planned to sell our house and she had packed some of her things.

I havent left the house. I am now in the process of buying her out of the house and remaining in the family home while she has moved to her mums. We have the kids 50/50 and we are talking. We are supporting each other, and both putting the kids first.

Im scared, that when she is offered council housing, it will be a long way away..

Im so deeply in love with her that Im struggling to accept that this is all for the best for each of us..

Im doing the therapy, working on myself and trying to be a better man. Sometimes I think im doing it for her, but Im not. Im doing it for me.

I want our family whole again, but this may never happen. 3 weeks in and I'm finding moments where Im at peace with myself, but the pain is unbearable.

Thanks

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3 weeks in..