When my husband and I made this pivot in our marriage, it truly eased a lot of stress between us when it came to navigating difficult conversations. Have a listen, and let me now in the comments if something landed for you.

Behind the scenes I've been developing a program focused on helping women who struggle with navigating difficult conversations with their spouse. That was me....for AGES. I hated the slightest risk of conflict, so rather than speaking up, I kept things buried. Turned out this aversion to conflict was a pattern based on a belief I'd formed as a little girl. My mother left the family when I was 10 yrs old. My dad raised my two younger brothers and I mostly on his own. Here's the thing, though. When I saw them fight, and then mum left (I just came home from school one day and she was gone) - I created an equation in my 10yr old mind "If two people who love each other fight - one of them will leave." Several years into my marriage - that belief had entrenched itself in my thinking. I was terrified that if we got into a fight - my husband would leave. So I was always a peacekeeper, at the expense of being my authentic self. I am very grateful to God that he led me through completely reframing that false belief and teaching me HIS way to be. So - that's the origin story of what I created. However, I don't want to "assume" that it's what most women would find value in. So to explore this more fully and validate (or give me a different steer) what I've developed, I invite you to complete a survey I've created. In the survey, the questions take you through some reflections on your marriage. Your voice matters and it will be instrumental in helping others along the way. 💞 👇 Click the link and it will take you straight to it. https://forms.gle/XDGa3QksiZmYBKpTA

I love this from Adam Lane Smith. Common sense - but not always so logical when sleep deprived! I made a boundary with myself (and in the process - with my husband): No important conversations after 8:00 pm.

Ever heard people say things like "Marriage should be 50/50"? Even split - right down the middle? I can tell you that 50/50 has RARELY existed in my marriage. I loved how Brene Brown unpacked it, drawing from her own marriage, and this really landed with me. She talked about how she and her husband identify the "out of 50 - where are you at today" when they'd get home. (In terms of patience, kindness, energy etc). He would say "I'm at a 20 today" and she would say "no worries! I'll cover for you. I can bring the 80". Other times when times were especially tough - and they'd both be in the 20's/30's re energy, patience, kindness - they'd negotiate what each other needs. She added that "A marriage is not 50/50. A partnership works when they can carry your "20" or you can carry theirs. And when you are both at a 20 - you have a plan on how to navigate that." This perspective lifted the pressure I'd put on myself to be at "100" because that's what we're supposed to be right? Nope. Let me know if this post busted a myth for you too, or if you have a different view? 👇

Sharing this to create space for some reflection. One of the BIGGEST realisations I had when my marriage hit crisis point, was how much my sense of identity was attached to the title of "Wife". I'd spent over 20-years building my sense of meaning, and value, and identity in that title. It was (and is) a dream to carve out a life that was centred on building and growing family - grounded in God. Here is what I realised though. I am not ONLY a wife. I am ALSO a woman of God that God designed and called and destined for His purposes. Being a wife is just a few stitches within the much bigger tapestry of the life God has planned for me. Not the ONLY thing. So the quote here from Jamie Winship (and if you are not familiar with him - YouTube is the answer to that) is a compassionate nudge to reminder you of this truth: There is no end to the depths of who God made you to be! 💞💎 And with that nudge - follows this question: What dream do you still carry in your heart that you are yet to give expression to?