Ever heard people say things like "Marriage should be 50/50"? Even split - right down the middle? I can tell you that 50/50 has RARELY existed in my marriage. I loved how Brene Brown unpacked it, drawing from her own marriage, and this really landed with me. She talked about how she and her husband identify the "out of 50 - where are you at today" when they'd get home. (In terms of patience, kindness, energy etc). He would say "I'm at a 20 today" and she would say "no worries! I'll cover for you. I can bring the 80". Other times when times were especially tough - and they'd both be in the 20's/30's re energy, patience, kindness - they'd negotiate what each other needs. She added that "A marriage is not 50/50. A partnership works when they can carry your "20" or you can carry theirs. And when you are both at a 20 - you have a plan on how to navigate that." This perspective lifted the pressure I'd put on myself to be at "100" because that's what we're supposed to be right? Nope. Let me know if this post busted a myth for you too, or if you have a different view? 👇

I have no doubt at some point in your faith journey you've cried out to God in prayer "God - where are you?" I know I sure have - on many occasions! I want to encourage you with Psalm 77. In this Psalm, David pours his heart out - just being very real with God. "I poured out my complaint to you, God. I lifted up my voice, shouting out for help." That was me. I sure know what it feels like. But here's what David did that totally changed my perspective. In verse 11 he writes "Yet, I could never forget all your miracles, my God, as I remember all your wonders of old..." His circumstances didn't change. Instead, he shifted his focus from the complaint....to God's miracles...REMINDING himself of God's faithfulness and goodness. THAT was the takeaway for me, and I share it with you today. To remind ourselves of God's goodness in the middle of when things seem uncertain. When you have some time, have a read of the Psalm, then let me know which verse resonated the most with you in the comments below. ❤️‍🔥👇

Sharing this to create space for some reflection. One of the BIGGEST realisations I had when my marriage hit crisis point, was how much my sense of identity was attached to the title of "Wife". I'd spent over 20-years building my sense of meaning, and value, and identity in that title. It was (and is) a dream to carve out a life that was centred on building and growing family - grounded in God. Here is what I realised though. I am not ONLY a wife. I am ALSO a woman of God that God designed and called and destined for His purposes. Being a wife is just a few stitches within the much bigger tapestry of the life God has planned for me. Not the ONLY thing. So the quote here from Jamie Winship (and if you are not familiar with him - YouTube is the answer to that) is a compassionate nudge to reminder you of this truth: There is no end to the depths of who God made you to be! 💞💎 And with that nudge - follows this question: What dream do you still carry in your heart that you are yet to give expression to?

...when you are going through hard things in your marriage. ESPECIALLY when it feels like one crisis after another is coming at you. When my capacity for decision-making was maxed out, one of the best choices I made was to use a devotional bible where you read the entire Bible in one year. A portion is allocated for each calendar day from the Old Testament, The New Testament, Proverbs and Psalms. Took the decision-making away in response to the question "what passage will I read today?" Where does the "feeling seen by God" come into this? I would ask myself this one question: "What does this passage teach me about the character of God, about his heart." When I took this approach, I have lost count of the number of times I would open the book to the allocated reading for the day, and the passage would EXACTLY speak to my circumstance. Words of counsel. Words of comfort Words of strength. What do you love to do in your quiet time with God? What area of your faith would you like to go deeper in with Him? Let me know in the comments 👇 If this type of Bible reading plan appeals to you, you can find it in the "Holy Bible" App, find the reading plan for "The One Year Bible" and off you go! ✨💖

I remember a time when I was really struggling with my husband. Constant tension in the home. Feeling like I was walking on eggshells due to the symptoms of his Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Just when I'd think I had his triggers 'figured out' and what not to do....something else would escalate. It was REALLY getting me down. Yet God, as he so often does, gave me a brand new perspective that opened my understanding in a fresh new way. He spoke to me in a dream. In the dream, this giant hand (like a claw-machine kind of hand) picked me up from behind so I was kind of just 'dangling'. I can see earth below. Slowly the hand starts to turn me around and I start saying to myself "I'm going to see God, I'm about to see God face-to-face!!" The hand turns me around all the way - yet the face I see - is my husband's face. Then he says these words: "I am your husband". The dream ended. The following morning I looked up Scripture and sure enough - there in Isaiah 54:5 it says" "For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called." From that revelation, I saw that I had a choice: 1. Keep taking things personally, or 2. Take how I respond as an opportunity to express my love for my Maker, who is My Husband as described in this verse. The peace from that realisation was immediate. Crucial conversations were had. Boundaries were agreed to. I share this with you to say, if you are struggling with your husband in some way, enjoy the reminder of Isaiah 54:5.