I had a client once who described their experience like this: "I can feel the moment he checks out. It's like a light switch. And every time it happens, I go into a panic — did I say something wrong? Is he done with us? What did I do?" Sound familiar? Here's what I've learned — both from the research and from sitting with women in this exact experience. That internal panic? It's not a weakness. It's our attachment system doing exactly what it was designed to do. Dr Sue Johnson, founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy, describes this response as an "attachment protest" — our nervous system registers a threat to connection and sounds the alarm. When I read that, it felt like she was reading my mail! Gosh. The problem is, that alarm response often makes things worse. We pursue, we push, we panic — and the already-flooded partner withdraws further. So what actually helps in that moment? Three things I coach women through (and myself by the way!): 1️⃣Name what's happening in your body before you respond. Tight chest? Racing thoughts? That's your signal to pause, not act. 2️⃣ Create a neutral bridge rather than a pursuit. Something simple like: "I can see you need some space. I'm here when you're ready." No pressure. No punishment. Just presence. 3️⃣ Redirect your energy inward. What do YOU need right now that isn't dependent on his response? Go meet that need. This isn't about suppressing your feelings. It's about not letting the flood carry you somewhere you'll regret. Which of these three feels hardest for you? 👇 Perhaps you have a method you can add to the list that's helped you in these moments? If so - would love to hear that too.

I want to welcome and honour our newest community members. @Mb Bee 💐 @Joleen Norstrud ✨ @Renee Lynn 🥳 @Karie Hudgins 😀 @Oma Ekekwe 🎉 @Charrel Spoon 🙌 @Leah Davis 🌟 @Becky Holbach Each one of us in this community are at various stages in our lives, our faith, and for some - in our marriage. ALL of us have experienced our share of trials along the way. Perhaps you are going through a trial right now. I want each of you to know that this place, this community, is here for you. By being here, you've put your hand up to say "I'm ready to take the next step..." Bless you! Praying for each one of you. If you haven't already done so yet, explore the classroom to find the current resources available. Find a post that resonates, pop in a comment to share your thoughts/views. Welcome.

Let's talk about something that doesn't get named nearly enough. You have reached for him — emotionally, not physically — and there's nothing there. A wall. Silence. Or worse, distraction. You try again. Same result. And slowly, quietly, you start to wonder if it's something you've done. It's not. Emotional unavailability in marriage is one of the most researched and documented relational challenges — and yet it's one of the least talked about honestly. You might have heard of Dr John Gottman. He is a researcher and psychologist. And when I say "researcher" - he and his colleague Robert Levenson, and his wife Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman - studied more than 3,000 couples in longitudinal studies. He identified what he calls "stonewalling" — where a partner emotionally withdraws from interaction — as one of the four key predictors of relationship breakdown. He found that in most cases, the person withdrawing isn't doing it out of indifference. They're doing it because their nervous system is flooded. Let me say that again: flooded. Overwhelmed. Dysregulated. I can relate to this so much. Yet I will add that when my husband was "emotionally unavailable," I had a clear cause I could point to. His Post Traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms had him flooded at times, dysregulated. So I quickly had to learn how to find a way through that - to feel heard. The experience doesn't make the impact on you any less real. Your loneliness is valid. Your need for connection is legitimate. But understanding what's actually happening beneath the surface changes everything about how you respond to it — and how you take care of yourself in the middle of it. This week I'm doing a deep dive into this topic. I want to hear from you first though. Whether it's emotional unavailability in your marriage or previous marriage, what's the one word that comes up for you? Drop it below. 👇

Just wanted to take a moment and welcome @Miriam Woolner and @Pauline Marsden to the community! It's great to have you both here! Looking forward to walking alongside, with encouragement and support!!

Wins on the way! Later this week I am releasing two new interactice resources into the Classroom: 1. Downsizing Your Fear 2. Post Argument Repair Guide BOTH of these have been birthed from my own personal experience in my marriage, so they are very meaningful to me...and I know they work!! Watch this space!!!