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Can I tell you something I think we don't say enough? The silence can feel heavier than the arguments. I had a client once who'd been living with her husband's emotional distance for so long that she didn't even register it as pain anymore. She told me, "I got really good at not needing anything anymore." Like that was a badge of honour. It wasn't. It was armour. And underneath it, she was exhausted. There's research that backs up what so many of us have already experienced in some form or another — women in emotionally distant marriages often carry more chronic stress and emotional strain than women in marriages with open conflict. Wow. At least conflict means something is happening between you. Silence can feel like nothing is happening at all — except we slowly go quiet inside too. With my client, it took one simple question to crack it all open. I asked her, "But how are YOU doing in all of this?" The emotions came out. Because no one had asked her that in years. Not even herself. So I'm going to ask you the same thing. Not how's your marriage. Not what's he doing or not doing. How are YOU doing in all of this? This is exactly why this little community exists — not to fix your marriage, but to make sure YOU have somewhere to actually answer that question honestly. And if you're craving a deeper conversation about it, that's what my coaching is for too. Sometimes you just need someone to sit with you in it for a while, then help you shift your focus towards practical steps forward.

I had a client once who described their experience like this: "I can feel the moment he checks out. It's like a light switch. And every time it happens, I go into a panic — did I say something wrong? Is he done with us? What did I do?" Sound familiar? Here's what I've learned — both from the research and from sitting with women in this exact experience. That internal panic? It's not a weakness. It's our attachment system doing exactly what it was designed to do. Dr Sue Johnson, founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy, describes this response as an "attachment protest" — our nervous system registers a threat to connection and sounds the alarm. When I read that, it felt like she was reading my mail! Gosh. The problem is, that alarm response often makes things worse. We pursue, we push, we panic — and the already-flooded partner withdraws further. So what actually helps in that moment? Three things I coach women through (and myself by the way!): 1️⃣Name what's happening in your body before you respond. Tight chest? Racing thoughts? That's your signal to pause, not act. 2️⃣ Create a neutral bridge rather than a pursuit. Something simple like: "I can see you need some space. I'm here when you're ready." No pressure. No punishment. Just presence. 3️⃣ Redirect your energy inward. What do YOU need right now that isn't dependent on his response? Go meet that need. This isn't about suppressing your feelings. It's about not letting the flood carry you somewhere you'll regret. Which of these three feels hardest for you? 👇 Perhaps you have a method you can add to the list that's helped you in these moments? If so - would love to hear that too.

Let's talk about something that doesn't get named nearly enough. You have reached for him — emotionally, not physically — and there's nothing there. A wall. Silence. Or worse, distraction. You try again. Same result. And slowly, quietly, you start to wonder if it's something you've done. It's not. Emotional unavailability in marriage is one of the most researched and documented relational challenges — and yet it's one of the least talked about honestly. You might have heard of Dr John Gottman. He is a researcher and psychologist. And when I say "researcher" - he and his colleague Robert Levenson, and his wife Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman - studied more than 3,000 couples in longitudinal studies. He identified what he calls "stonewalling" — where a partner emotionally withdraws from interaction — as one of the four key predictors of relationship breakdown. He found that in most cases, the person withdrawing isn't doing it out of indifference. They're doing it because their nervous system is flooded. Let me say that again: flooded. Overwhelmed. Dysregulated. I can relate to this so much. Yet I will add that when my husband was "emotionally unavailable," I had a clear cause I could point to. His Post Traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms had him flooded at times, dysregulated. So I quickly had to learn how to find a way through that - to feel heard. The experience doesn't make the impact on you any less real. Your loneliness is valid. Your need for connection is legitimate. But understanding what's actually happening beneath the surface changes everything about how you respond to it — and how you take care of yourself in the middle of it. This week I'm doing a deep dive into this topic. I want to hear from you first though. Whether it's emotional unavailability in your marriage or previous marriage, what's the one word that comes up for you? Drop it below. 👇

I want to welcome and honour our newest community members. @Mb Bee 💐 @Joleen Norstrud ✨ @Renee Lynn 🥳 @Karie Hudgins 😀 @Oma Ekekwe 🎉 @Charrel Spoon 🙌 @Leah Davis 🌟 @Becky Holbach Each one of us in this community are at various stages in our lives, our faith, and for some - in our marriage. ALL of us have experienced our share of trials along the way. Perhaps you are going through a trial right now. I want each of you to know that this place, this community, is here for you. By being here, you've put your hand up to say "I'm ready to take the next step..." Bless you! Praying for each one of you. If you haven't already done so yet, explore the classroom to find the current resources available. Find a post that resonates, pop in a comment to share your thoughts/views. Welcome.