Improvement after Jay feedback · Lead Generation Secrets

Improvement after Jay feedback

After Jay feedback on my last post, I worked on tightening the copy and removing the seasonality and competitor references to focus purely on missed emergency calls = lost jobs.

Here’s the revised version:

Subject line: missed call {{first_name}}?

Hi {{First_name}},

When an emergency call comes in after hours and no one answers,

that job usually goes to the next company on the list.

I’m offering restoration companies a free after-hours AI receptionist

that answers every call, captures job details, and notifies the team instantly.

No contracts. Just proof it works.

If this is relevant, reply yes and I’ll get your free after-hours call system ready.

Strategy-wise

my plan is simple:

Once they reply “yes”, I’ll send a short personalized Loom showing why they need this system , than give them the p-number of the ai receptionist to test it itselfs.

Would love to know if this feels tighter and more aligned with what you suggested.

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