IT WAS A HUGE KERFUFFLE!!!! · the skool CLASSIFIEDS

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IT WAS A HUGE KERFUFFLE!!!!

So I started the year, the New Years, making a few… sort of having some reflections and making some changes on my community, because I noticed it was in the self-improvement category, and it really should be in the relationship category.

And then that took me down a rabbit hole to making some edits to my about page, and then some people were saying some things weren’t super clear, so then that took me down another rabbit hole.

And then I realised… okay, we’re not just daughters in here, it’s mixed gender groups, so then that one was shifted, and then I came on to the whole age story, like… oh, who is it for? Is it for kids? Is it for teens? Is it for adults?

I know who it’s for, but we all have a different perception of what those mean.

So once I put the question out there… I got some EPIC insights, and I truly appreciate from everybody in every community that I asked that gave me stuff, because honestly… it did boggle my brain for a little while, but then what are you gonna do.

OKAY, HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED (THE RABBIT HOLE BIT)

When I was reading it, I was like, ok, yeah, that makes sense, I can understand it from that perspective.

And I was saying to people, I really appreciate your perspective because, obviously, everybody sees things, words in a different way, and I know that language is really important because it’s what kind of lands for us and what doesn’t land for us.

That’s what I was trying to kind of get across… like yes, I’m working with teen-ish kind of age kids, but it’s not just teen-ish age kids that parents need that support with, and the support that I’m giving is to mums as well.

But then… this is where I got into my own head with it and the rabbit hole.

A lot of people see teens as sort of 13 to… 16 years old, and then after 16, they’re seen as young adults, and this was a bugbear of mine when my big ones were younger, because their response to me was, yeah, but we’re a young adult… and like, you’re not.

A young adult is 18 to 24, in my mind. It just… logically, it makes no sense for me, emotionally, it makes no sense for me, and what comes with the connotation of adult is very different to that of a child.

And the definition of a child is anyone under the age of 18, which I know that, but that’s not how people perceive childhood, they perceive childhood in stages, and that’s okay.

But I think because of my legal standing with it, with like the social work side of it, it was always child, everything I spoke about, and when you talk about youth… you think youth club, youth offending, youth worker… it has a different meaning to the word.

So yeah. My head just got blown, because I was like, I know what I’m trying to say, but I just want to say it in a way that other people are actually going to connect with it, and understand it as well, because it’s not just about what I think, and how my logic is, because I know sometimes my logic can be a little bit skewiff to other people’s logic.

AND THEN THE AGE THING GOT… MESSY

Because like… even if you say child, the child could be four year old, and it’s going to be very different to that of a 13 year old.

My targeting for the one-to-one is older kids, sort of nine years and up… but I know that so many parents out there with younger kids are struggling, especially mums, because they don’t know what to do, and there isn’t anything out there for them.

And I know there’s quite a few mums in my group that have younger kids, so I don’t want to dismiss them and what they’re going through, and it’s not like I don’t know it, because I do know it.

And age is a spectrum as well, because there is a fair few kids out there that are neurodiverse, that their mental age isn’t the same as their physical age, so when you put an age cap on things, for me, it feels inauthentic.

Like one of my daughters is 27… but mentally she’s not a 27 year old, emotionally her regulation is still very much of a teenager, and I know these things, so if I put an age bracket like 9 to 19… people outside of that age-wise might feel like they haven’t got that support, when mentally and emotionally, they’re actually within that bracket.

So you can’t really… give it a number.

THE CONCLUSION (AKA THE BIT THAT FINALLY LANDED)

Then someone said this in one of the spaces and I was like… yes.

“Mums… whether 5, 15 or 35.”

And I liked that because it gives a real clear indication of the different age ranges, without putting an age restriction on it, but it’s giving an indication of actually these are the different ages that your child could be.

And also… if you use the word kids, because people say, you’re a big kid, you still use that for adults.

So yeah… “whether 5, 15 or 35” feels the best for me. It feels like it encompasses everything.

So that’s where I’ve landed.

And honestly… we’ve done it. We’ve done it all.

MY WORD OF THE WEEK: KERFUFFLE

Because I did get all kerfuffled here, not gonna lie.

But now it’s done.

About page is clear. Who it’s for is clear. Banner is clear. Description is clear.

So… take a peek if you wanna sneak.

QUICK QUESTION FOR YOU!

When you hear “kids”, “teens”, “young adults”… what do YOU picture, straight away, and why?

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