This one kind of confused me, and then I understood what Jim’s Twins was expressing… I think.
Just set my Big Rocks for the next 6 weeks and realized something. The boundary I need with my dad and the closeness I want with my wife are the same rock. Both come down to one belief I've carried for years - that wanting things for myself is selfish. Turns out my "impulse control problem" was never the real stumbling block.