Grief · ADHD Harmony™

Grief

Grief is something that I didn't really recognize before coming here. And I'm finally trying to understand and process it now, at the fresh age of 41 lol.

I've been dancing since I was 3 years old. In the last 1 to 2 years, I've developed health issues that greatly affect my ability. I thought that I was going to have to quit. But, it's such a part of my identity, I'm afraid that I won't know who I am without it. So, I've just been pushing on, while beating myself up inside for feeling not good enough.

After rehearsal last night, (which ended with me face planting into the floor as a lift fell out, after I already had to take a break due to my spinal injury), I spent some time with myself. And I grieved the dancer that I was. I'm not sure that I've actively done this yet. Perhaps I have done some subconsciously, but I don't think that I have really fully done it consciously. And I still need to work through it more. But, I'm glad that I finally recognized that I need to fully grieve it, so that I can start to accept the dancer that I am now.

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Grief