Just finished the first section of my ADHD Snapshot and realized something. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 15, but no one ever told me how ADHD shows up in women. At 40 it finally clicks. The letter I wrote to my younger self telling her to stop being so hard on herself? Turns out I needed to hear it more than she did. ---

Just finished all 3 sections of my ADHD Snapshot and realized something. The reason nothing "sticks" isn't that I'm failing at it. My nervous system has been stuck in fight or flight for so long that I wake up bracing for battle. No wonder the grounding doesn't hold. Curious to see what the full report shows.

I have to admit when I went into the Somatic Breathwork at 4am yesterday morning, I had heard lots of hype around it. I wasn't sure what to believe. The sceptic in me believed that it was just a gimmick. But do you know what? It wasn't! Yesterday I felt so relaxed and grounded, the first time in such a long time - and I mean a looooong time! My biggest take home message: I don't breathe - well obviously I do but not properly. I only had a couple of episodes where things came up for me. Firstly my fear of falling asleep during the session - caught myself twice when both body and mind shut down. Secondly, the feeling of not being good enough reared it's ugly head. I chose in that session to let it go. And I did. That's huge for me - that mask, that feeling, has been a part of me all my life. AND I chose to let it go. Wow! The day was crazy and hectic yet I wandered around calmly. It was the strangest, yet most beautiful feeling that has ever taken hold of me. It's something I'm going to do again but this time, I'll do it on the bed and not the lounge floor - it wasn't very comfortable! Mind you, does that mean I might fall asleep again? No matter what, if you get the opportunity to do it - grab it with both hands and see what lands for you. We're all different and we all take different messages from it. Give it a go. I just wanted to say a huge THANK YOU to @Jim Ebbelaar for offering this as part of the cohort work - also to our wonderful facilitator, Yuran.

Section 2 of my Snapshot just hit different. I realized the thing I call "frustration" is actually grief for two whole careers I keep walking up to and backing away from out of fear. And the nightly replay loop I can see but can't stop? Turns out seeing it was never going to be enough, because it's not running in the part of my brain that sees.