I am going to do something radical. Because I NEED to and I DESERVE to.
I am going to EVACUATE my room of the STUFF
I'm going to lay down a couple of bright beach towels (I have two) in the hallway and move the STUFF onto there for now.
Why? Because I've been bullied by the STUFF for so damn long.
And for now, either the hallway will be messy or my room. But I deserve for my bedroom to feel peaceful.
So for now, if the STUFF needs to be in upstairs hallway, so be it.
This is me taking back my power. And that includes NOT getting swallowed up in all the decisions etc. Nope. I'm not getting rid of anything yet. I'm just getting it out of my room.
Then, the STUFF has to EARN its place if it wants back in my room.
What a paradigm shift!! How often do we "shrink" our SELF for our STUFF?? 🤯 or even worse, for stuff that OTHER PEOPLE put in our homes, possibly even without our permission??
it is time to take our SELF back!!
First step for me is ONLY evacuating the stuff. Getting it OUT of my room!
This is more than "decluttering" or "organizing". This is me DEMANDING at least a little bit of sovereignty in a situation that is fundamentally stacked against me.
But I am ultimately "What *CAN* I do Cathy" I am ultimately "Cathy the Conqueror". Key word: ultimately 😅 NOT "fearlessly" NOT "automatically". But ultimately 🤣
Trust me, it isn't impressive by society's standards haha.
But this is me, in the eight foot grave that others dug for me, saying I am STILL here! I am STILL fighting!
And tomorrow i am getting the shit OUT of my room. I will lay the towels against the wall so I still have space to walk safely to stairs (important). But yeah. This is a radical act of self CARE.
And if I have to do it all by my damn self then so be it. I STILL deserve to have a peaceful bedroom!!!
And as always, I'm hoping by sharing my journey that it encourages someone else. 🥰
I was someone who had to literally smile as I was being abused. And keeping stuff in my room so that my hallway isn't messy was another iteration of that, and I didn't realize that until just now writing this post!🤯
But I'm staking a claim. And saying I DESERVE a peaceful bedroom. We may not realize it but the STUFF has an effect on us.
And every freaking year my daughter has left for summer and left me with a mountain of STUFF to wade through etc. And I would spend my entire break just trying to get through it..
Well, several times I had to spend my summer frantically looking for a new place to live because the place we were at became violent (or the landlord ended up being a slumlord..) and moving.
So NO WONDER I never felt "refreshed" come end of summer.
But THIS summer is different. I'm demanding it. And by moving the STUFF into the hallway, it is saying to myself that I WILL NOT put up with this anymore.
As someone with cptsd, I can't tell you how new this is for me. It feels completely foreign.
But that is the whole point. Self respect needs to stop feeling foreign! And the only way it becomes "familiar" is when we practice it.
Anyway, I need to get ready for Operation Dreamland for tonight.
But wanted to share because I have felt so STUCK for so long. And this is a step I'm taking (tomorrow).
I don't recommend this method for all situations haha. But for MY current situation, it is the right one.
Ok! Love you guys!