My insight's. I backed out of the page now I'm rewriting everything lol. So. This is what I learned today with my 3 questions I asked sage to explain to me about why I can't remember my childhood before 13. I remembered something before that I added which was the key to have brought this all full circle for me. My lack of memory, piss poor decision making skills, drug use. I was ' abused" at 13 by an uncle. With that being said, my ADHD is interwoven with trauma and it makes a lot of sense as to how I can 'place myself in the backseat ' so to speak. Sage suggested a therapist and a psychologist and I agree . Now if we had a preacher to the mix we have a total making for a good joke. Sorry. I have a horrible sense of humor when I'm nervous. So far I haven't recognized any loops that I put off I enjoy habits and routine and I'm very prompt and I'm always on time.