During my police career I dealt with some pretty awful stuff. I then lost both my Wife and both parents all in the space of 13 months. Yes I went a bit wobble, had some CBT and now I am on the straight and narrow again. Or at least I thought I was. A week ago we had Green Monday a very big bank holiday where we eat, drink , socialise and fly kites. All was going well until it came to putting the meat on the BBQ. I opened the cool box only to fince the spices had spilled everywhere. I was really pissed off. I tried as best I could to clear it all up. Then having finished I stood up and whacked my head on a branch (bloody hurt). It was like a switch had been flicked and I seriously lost my shit. I hadn't even been drinking. I have not flipped like that for well over 10 years. The rest of the afternoon I was very subdued and angry with myself for loosing it. But also alarmed how easy you can flick that switch and boom your almost in a rage. I'm still reflecting on it now. For someone who was often described as so laid back in almost horizontal. It's really bothered me..

I didn’t sleep last night……too many things running through my head. I met my sister for the first time last night…. It was great to meet her and sit and talk to what happened to us both….i gave her a cuddle and it was like we had known each other forever! The old me wasn’t capable of meeting her as he was too angry and lost in the past….new me welcomed the moment and it’s helping me grow into the man I know is waiting….. If you have things from the past that haunt you…..face them head on! This was the same situation last week when I also met my brother for the first time. Control your chaos…..don’t let it control you

Morning gents, here's an issue im kinda struggling with and wondering if any of you guys have experienced anything similar. In 2024 I retired from the Police service after 20+ years service. In 2023 I had been diagnosed and treated for prostate cancer and my mindset was it was time to get out and enjoy some life with my wife and family. The maths all worked out so I made the desicion to retire from the service at 56 years old. At first the novelty was great, I joined the everyman project, lost a load of weight, increased my fitness levels and generally felt much better than I had in years. I left the project just before Christmas ( it was just a financial drain after 8 months ) and if im honest i'd kinda got used to having the group around, the zoom calls, the accountability with the coaches and the general craic from being part of the group. Problem is is that now I'm kinda isolated, wife's at work all day and my family is 150 miles away. I have plenty of hobbies, photography, motorcycling etc.. but im feeling a bit lost and im starting to lock myself away in the house, not going out . I can go a week or more without speaking to a soul during the day, I know its winter and the weather in Wales where I live can be restrictive but its more than that, its almost a confidence thing where I struggle to get out on my own. It's really starting to affect my mindset, my training suffers and im generally starting to feel flat and unmotivated. Im determined to find some kind of solution before I tip over the edge into self pity and depression which is all to easy to do. Sorry for the ramble, I'd appreciate everyone's thoughts and tactics to tackle this is you've experienced anything similar Cheers Steve

I’m thinking of starting something simple in here — and I’ll be straight, this is something I need as much as anyone. Not a challenge. Not a step count. Not another thing to “win”. Just getting outside 3–5 times a week for a 20–30 minute walk. Phone away if you can. Clear your head. Create some space. After the walk: - you can post a thought - drop a voice note - or say nothing at all This isn’t about motivation. It’s about movement and clarity. Before I kick it off — Is this something you’d actually do? Anything you’d want added (or kept out) to make it work for you? If it lands, I’ll get it started next week.