"“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation" Henry David Thoreau "Alas for those that never sing, But die with all their music in them!" Oliver Wendell Holmes I think about the Thoreau quote often and wonder the sparks that people keep hidden inside of them...One of the blessings and more rewarding parts of my job is that sometimes I get to help people explore this--to help bring out the spark that makes them feel alive. Seeing someone's eyes light up is such a privilege and brings so much joy. It can be easy to drift through life without much intention, agency, or self reflection. It's easy to keep ourselves trapped in a cage of our own making. But....we CAN create a life that doesn't turn into desperation or having us go to the grave with the song still in our hearts.. Here are some things to consider: 1. Name Your Values And Revisit Them Often -when people feel they are “quietly desperate,” it is usually because their lives drift far away from what they actually care about. How to do it: a. Write down the top five things you want your life to stand for b.Ask yourself weekly: “Did I live 1% percent closer to these?” c. Let your values make small decisions easier, so you avoid emotional autopilot Psychology tie in: Values based behavior reduces avoidance and increases a sense of agency :) 2. Practice Micro Courage Quiet desperation often grows from years of small silences--of not speaking up, not trying to step outside of the comfort zone, not risking and not starting. Micro courage: tiny brave acts a. Sending the email/text b. trying the class c. sking the question d.making the change while it is still small Psychology tie in: Every micro act of courage builds your psychological flexibility and shrinks your fear barrier. 3. Get Out Of “All Or Nothing” Thinking A reason people end up feeling stuck is because they think change must be massive or immediate.When the mind goes all or nothing, it has a much harder time acting in some instances. Some people can operate on the 'go big or go home' mentality, but likely they've had a lot of practice in saying yes to smaller steps along the way to where it can be easier to embark on the bigness.

Spotlight on @Dan 'Remmy' Stourac for today! He has written multiple books, including: An Arsenal of Gratitude: Waging War on Mediocrity and Regret (i like books that don't repeat themselves--this book delivered so well last month! New things to ponder in each chapter) Pissed Off with a Purpose: Waging War on Fear He also runs his own community here: prospirit

The Balcony View-Gaining Perspective Without Disconnecting The "balcony view" is a psychological skill that often gets overlooked and is underutilized IMHO, yet it can change the entire tone of how we respond to stress and heightened emotion situations. Instead of getting swept up in the heat of the moment, this is an opportunity to mentally step up to a higher perspective and look at the situation like you are watching it unfold from above. This creates just enough distance to think more clearly. Nerd Alert (some science behind it): The balcony view works because it activates metacognition (awareness of our own thoughts/thinking) and recruits areas of the prefrontal cortex that support reflection, emotional regulation, and decision making. The ventromedial prefrontal cortex calms the fear (fight/flight/freeze/fawn ) response. The anterior cingulate cortex helps shift attention so you can see the bigger picture instead of fixating on the trigger. This is very different from dissociation. Dissociation pulls you into fog and detachment. The balcony view pulls you into clarity and a level of control/intentionality. It's a strategic shift so that emotions are there to inform but not to be in the driver's seat. It's a way to increase emotional intelligence and when engaged it has the potential to diffuse heightened situations. How to do it: To practice it, take a deep breath and pause before reacting Imagine yourself taking a few mental steps upward (as if climbing to get the balcony view of a play) and then watch the scene as if it were happening on a stage. Notice the facts, the emotions, and the choices available. No judgment--if there are judgments, notice them as such. The point of this is to just observe the situation and gather information. The more you use it, the easier it becomes to respond with clarity instead of impulse. (and a resource on processing emotions :) ). What are your strategies for making space for and honoring your emotions but not letting them rule in a conflict?

Greetings fellow empowered beings!! :) As we're approaching this last month, let's take a look at the past year (things we've achieved, lessons we've learned, things we've left behind and added) and let's use that to mobilize us in this next month. Let's use this last month of the year to build momentum and get a running start into 2026. We don't have to wait.... We treat January like it has magical powers when really it is just a month with better PR. Psychologically speaking, December is prime time for momentum building. It is the month where the brain naturally shifts into reflection mode, which means insight is already simmering and it might make it the perfect time to launch! A lot of people experience SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) in the winter months--- so I think that it's really really important to look at the habits that we engage in and how this either contributes, reinforces or helps ease this effect. (side note--with my clients in Michigan, I start having conversations about this in September because the weather here along with the habits really influence people's experiences for 6 months at a time!! We can't control the weather, BUT we can do things differently). *****So, how are you using December and what are your intentions? *****How will you use this past year as a way to move into the next? Here are some questions to consider as you look back on your past year (questions are part of an AAR (After Action Review). 1. What did we intend to accomplish (what was our strategy)? 2. What did we do (how did we execute relative to our strategy)? 3. Why did it happen that way (why was there a difference between strategy and execution)? 4. What will we do to adapt our strategy or refine our execution for a better outcome OR how do we repeat our success?

I think that for this month, in addition to writing up some posts, I'd like to create a space where we can put the spotlight on some members and see what happens! :) @Dr. Melissa Partaka launched her first book on Friday: The Blueprint Method – Discovering The Life You Were Meant To Live It's available on her website and on Amazon. :) Paperback: https://amzn.to/4pyy4Ct; Kindle: https://amzn.to/3K1yi6d Additionally, she's also gifting others with a FREE Quantum Wellness body scan. Her skool community: blueprint-method Melissa, so excited for your achievements! :) Happy December!