You might not understand it right away, but this is the purpose of all the meditations and the things we are going through. The ultimate truth. The “new world”. Now you might not know what the new world is, let me tell you. The world you are living in is real. But the world that you perceive is dependent on what your mind makes out of it. Any situation that happens, is mixed with your emotions and feelings. They trigger a sensation, which causes more feelings and emotions to arise. It is a loop. The new world is that you notice all situation from a back seat and not let them affect you, this is very difficult. So we use meditation to observe our thoughts. We use positive thinking and affirmations to change the outcome of a situation. Sensations are our subconscious, dreams are our subconscious, visions are our subconscious. Everything that arises in your body without your conscious will is your subconscious. The new world is working on that and once you realise this, you’re enlightened. Enlightenment is processing a situation without letting the subconscious meddle in the process.

My current practice is to find out who I am. I know that I can not observe myself, this body,breath,thoughts are all observed by me. And so I am not that. The sensations of light, energy, heat,,cold can be observed. I am the centre. I am one in which all this appears. I am the feeler of these feelings. That is my practice and until I reach there I need to observe. Remain in present because I am in the present. The space between these words. The pause between the blinking of the curser. Where am I? I don’t know What am I? I don’t know Who am I? I don’t know I want to know. That is my practice.

How do we know that whether we have been awakened or not ? 🤔

Do you ever catch yourself repeating the same patterns? There are days when I feel calm inside, mostly effortlessly present, grateful, and almost in love with being here (in this life). And then, after these peaceful moments, something always appears. A test, or an old trigger. A pattern I thought I had already outgrown. Suddenly I’m not the grown version of myself anymore, my pain body steps in, my ego takes over, and the observer mode is gone. The good thing is, that the intensity and duration of these moments are getting lighter, softer and shorter. And I see them as signs that there are still unhealed parts of me waiting to be understood and pain should be felt and let go eventually. Theoretically, I know how much progress I’ve made. Practically, I still have so much to heal and to surrend on. But I’ll keep going. It doesn’t matter how many times I go “five steps back”. I have my own pace and my own path. And I don’t see it as failure anymore, just a kind reminder that there is still work to do. And honestly, I’m grateful that I can see it this way now, instead of taking it as proof of weakness like I once did. Does anyone else feel something similar?

So this all started because of those darn metals that can fix themselves 😅. Every experience you’ve gone through, especially the painful ones, acted like a kind of inner pregnancy. Your past “carried” the version of you that you are now. And just like trauma during pregnancy doesn’t necessarily damage a child but imprints them, the things you lived through didn’t break you. They imprinted you. They shaped your sensitivities, your instincts, your defenses, your longing, your compassion. Those imprints became the “child”, the person you grew into. Just like a real child can heal as the mother heals, your current healing reaches backward and forward at the same time. When you heal something now, you heal the version of you who went through it and the version of you you’re becoming. It’s retroactive. It’s generational within your own psyche. You’re not fixing “damage.” You’re tending to an imprint. You’re the mother who finally feels safe, and the child inside who finally feels seen. Your healing today nurtures the self you are growing into, and releases the self who had to survive. That’s why everything feels so intense.. because you are literally rewriting the cellular memory of your own being. Okay, now where’s the Cheshire Cat? 😂