I went on a solo trip to Medellin, Colombia for 10 days. Here's my report. Open to your feedback! ✅ Wins - Arrived knowing almost no one and left having met 100+ people, forming multiple overlapping social circles - Built strong social momentum by the end of the trip — comfortably opening dozens of people in a single night - Invited to perform at a rooftop jam session for ~200 people (major social proof moment) - Integrated into several communities: musicians, salsa dancers, language exchange groups, coffee tour groups - Built a strong alliance with one key male friend and helped generate high-energy group dynamics consistently - Noticeable improvement in vocal projection, posture, eye contact, and overall presence throughout the trip - Stayed highly present by minimizing social media and prioritizing real-world interactions - Successfully isolated a woman and led a venue change home (strong logistical leadership, even without a close) - Consistently created comfort and connection in new groups — natural social glue ⚠️ Challenges Hesitation to Approach: Saw opportunities but held back at times due to assumption of low interest. Underestimating Attractiveness: Missed or rationalized away signs of interest (eye contact, proximity, engagement). Fear of Making Women Uncomfortable: Defaulted to safe/friendly energy rather than allowing interactions to become man-to-woman. Overreliance on Conversation: Tried to build connection verbally instead of leading physically or logistically. Late Escalation: Attraction peaked earlier than action was taken in multiple interactions. Early-Trip Confidence Dips: Lower vocal strength and internal certainty affected presence at the beginning of the trip. 📚 Lessons - Attraction often exists earlier than you think - Waiting for certainty = loss of momentum - Physical leading communicates intent more clearly than verbal explanation - Emotional momentum matters more than long conversations - Confidence shows up as decisiveness, not just loudness - Social proof (performer + connector role) significantly amplifies attraction - You thrive in socially warm, activity-based environments -

I am 40 years old, and a virgin. I discovered self-improvement and pickup at the age of 17, and studied diligently, and practiced it. I put 3000 cold approaches under my belt, before I even graduated college. And I continued after that - just stopped counting. I have put in the work. SOOOOO much fucking work. And gotten NOTHING from it. Not even a DATE. Not one woman being sexually interested in me for one split SECOND. EVER. I fantasize about suicide. Every day. All day. I don't want to be here anymore. I started fixing my instagram, but I can't post any photos with girls, because I don't know any girls. I DON'T KNOW ANY GIRLS. I AM 40 FUCKING YEARS OLD, AND I'VE NEVER HAD A FEMALE FRIEND. This is wrong. It's wrong and I want out. This life is pointless. It's evil. Being born was evil and wrong. Everything is wrong.

I am loyal to a fault. So loyal that the religion that has been a net negative in my life (assuming that I would also be saved by Christ as a Protestant), Catholicism, I keep turning back to out of an obligation to find a wife to raise children in the faith, a faith that has constantly griefed me from high school onwards against finding a wife by making me a Nice Guy and demonizing PUAs in my 20s. Anyway, my NYR amongst others is to stop dating Catholic girls. I have had it said to my face, "Pat, you are obsessed with finding a wife." Ok? As opposed to being obsessed with sleeping with as many women as possible? It's all complete mate suppression. Are there any other Christian men in here with similar experiences? Also, are Christian women, who almost definitely had sex in high school, saying they "waiting until marriage" just shit-testing men? I might make that a separate post. https://marginsofeden.substack.com/p/the-mr-collins-complex?utm_source=post-banner&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=posts-open-in-app&triedRedirect=true

They say that if you're not keeping up with your NYR in February that you're more likely to keep it for the rest of the year. My strategy for NYR: 1. Start your resolutions ideally before winter sets in, i.e. October. 2. Pick as many resolutions as possible. 3. Weed down the ones you can't follow and settle one one or two. The ones I'm still following: - Stop dating Catholics - it's all the negatives of secular dating plus the negatives of Christian dating (they claim to be virgins "waiting for marriage") - No video games all year - not until I get my Master's Degree, or I have a girlfriend I need to ignore. - Intermittent fasting, eat between 12-8. - Grease the Groove - 5 pull-ups/chin-ups, 20 push-ups, and a miscellaneous exercise for every 25 minutes of studying. Are you still holding to your NYR?