The sadness of abandonment slowly turned into anger and my breath became shaky. I’m baffled by the number of people I consider close friends that have turned their backs on me. Inhale empowerment. Exhale security.

No feelings or intentions today, just sitting with the physical pains that consistently arise during my practice - behind the neck, and a solid mass in the middle of my back. I know they have something to tell me. But for now, I’d like to work on building trust with my body. Showing her that I’m happy to just wait and witness until she’s ready 🌼🧸

Worked on clearing the fear of scarcity > abundance > serenity today. Things have been tough lately so I’m trying very hard not to double down with negative thinking. Perhaps a shift in perspective will help to shift things in the physical world as well.

One benefit I have found from doing this practice is that I am much more able to quickly and effectively shut off unhelpful mind loops. This is a gift.

I am struggling with finding joy. I have always struggled with connections. I recently realized I created the distance out of fear of being hurt. I'm currently in a housing situation with no possibility of connecting on a meaningful level with anyone here, I've tried. They are all 50 years younger than me (long story) and live for gaming or getting high. My results in learning Somatic breathwork are... I am in and out of feeling amazing, then dropping back into powerlessness. I keep at it and hope to find a sense of connection with people in this group and some consistency/stability in my nervous system soon.