Trauma healing isn’t about learning to self-regulate harder. It’s about being allowed to co-regulate first. So many of us are told: “Just calm yourself.” “Use your tools.” “Breathe through it.” But trauma is often formed in isolation, danger, or relational rupture. Asking a dysregulated nervous system to self-regulate on its own can feel impossible — and that’s not a failure. It’s biology. Before we can self-regulate, we need co-regulation. Co-regulation is: being with someone who feels steady being seen without being fixed having your emotions met, not managed feeling safe enough for your nervous system to borrow calm This is how regulation is learned — especially when it wasn’t available early on. Self-regulation is not the starting point. It’s the outcome. You’re not meant to do this alone, so how about doing it with us? Virtual Trauma Therapy With love, Chris ❤️

If you woke up tomorrow and had lost all your muscles overnight, would the number on the scale be lower? You betcha!! I think you'd agree that this would NOT be actual progress in terms of your health and wellness. If you started doing strength training and building muscle consistently, would the number on the scale go up? Heck yes, since muscle weight more than fat. Would it be bad that the scale has gone up due to more muscle on your body? Considering that muscle is a great partner in good metabolic health, I would say you want to maximize the amount of muscle you have on your body! Increasing muscle is a great thing, even though it makes the number on the scale go up. Did you know that Elvis had 40 pounds of poop in his colon when he passed away?! Not sure if that's actually true or an urban legend repeated in magazines, but many of us can benefit from having more regular bowel movements, and this can absolutely impact the number on the scale. These are just some of the reasons I don't like using the weight on the scale as the only way to measure progress with health goals, or lack of it. The weight on the scale is ONE data point. It can be interesting to track it occasionally for information, but it shouldn't be the only data point we use. Below are data points I prefer to use more consistently in terms of measuring progress with health and wellness... How do I feel? Do I feel generally balanced and fit, happy and peaceful, empowered around making healthy choices frequently and at peace with the choices I make? Do I feel strong when I engage in movement? Do I see muscle definition? Do my clothes fit well? There are machines which can measure your percentage of muscle and body fat, and even the health of your bones. I haven't actually tried one yet, but those might also be a better data point in terms of progress than the scale. How do you measure your progress towards your health and wellness goals, fellow Thriver? Do you use the scale, as part of that picture?

During Covid, I gained a bunch of weight. 50 pounds plus. The stress of feeling out of control, homeschooling my kids, and feeling worried about the state of the world drove me to my fridge and my pantry over and over again. Food addiction felt like my friend. Or it numbed me out at least, enough to keep going in spite of the uncertainties. When that period was over, I tried for years to let go of the excess weight that had piled up. I moved a lot, ate huge plates of vegetables for breakfast, tried to make healthy choices, but nothing moved the needle on the scale. I lost a few pounds here and there, only to gain it back. A lifelong pattern of stress eating didn’t help. I started to feel hopeless that I would ever change. Maybe feeling tired and heavy and lethargic, with morning back pain, and a weight of 220 pounds on my 5’6”frame, was just the way I would live out the rest of my life. Then, I went to a 10 day retreat, led by neuroscientist Dr. Joe Dispenza. I spent hours and hours visualizing how I want to feel and what I want to experience. When I got back, I continued to visualize daily how I wanted to feel and what I wanted to experience. I found a guided relaxation program called Hypno Health that helped me start to take control of my health, more and more. And bit by bit, I started to live my way into the feelings and experiences I had been envisioning. The weight started dropping off faster than I had even imagined was possible. Intermittent fasting helped with that, but I probably never would have tried intermittent fasting if I hadn’t spent all that time visualizing and developing clarity. I let go of over 70 pounds in a matter of a few months. I started feeling lighter, more energetic, more confident and capable. Pains I’d had for months or years started going away. You can see the pictures below of my physical transformation, but the internal transformation was even more profound. The feeling that I’m capable of transforming and creating change in my life was profound.

Every cause has an affect. Every word is a seed. Every attitude invites its own return. Over the next 12-weeks in Living the Game of Life we’ll be exploring the spiritual laws laid out in Florence Scovel Shinn’s The Game of Life and How to Play It. When we cooperate with the laws instead of resisting them, life becomes more harmonious, purposeful, and full of grace. I invite you to join us in exploring the Spiritual Laws in The Game of Life. Imagine what could shift in your life by the end of March...

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