First… what IS self-abandonment? Self-abandonment is what happens when we turn away from ourselves. When we ignore what we feel. When we silence what we know. When we override our truth to avoid discomfort, rejection, or conflict. It can look small. Saying “it’s fine” when it isn’t. Laughing when something hurts. Staying quiet when something matters. Trying to be who we think we need to be. What are the effects of self-abandonment? When we disconnect from ourselves, certain patterns appear. Low self-esteem. Emotional suffering. Difficult relationships. Addictions — to people, substances, or activities. We start seeking outside what we no longer give ourselves inside. We look for validation. We try to control. We blame. We overwork. We numb. After a while, we may collapse. Look around you. Can you see how often we are encouraged to ignore what we feel, override what we know, and disconnect from ourselves in order to belong, succeed, or survive? Most of us were taught to abandon ourselves… quietly, early, and repeatedly. Can you see it?

Today I experienced a guided practice of self connection with @Josée LaRoche, with the kind company of @Eric Ouellette and missing the presence of @Kosta Pagonas. I arrived overwhelmed, blocked and confused. I left sad but present, with a tender heart, with a deep clarity of the huge pain I was avoiding but that was preventing me from moving. Josée asked me: Do you want to learn more about what you are feeling? I said yes, but I was feeling my resistance. She gently asked me questions to help me see below the layers of "Fear is stoping me from doing what I need to do" and get to this very old feeling of "I feel so helpless". Those were words of a tiny child inside me. And instead of ignoring me, I could be present to myself. I didn't "solve" my issues there, but feeling the actual feeling I was experiencing felt so true. It allowed me to know where I was standing, and the very real next steps I could take. Very grateful to have this guide available in the community and to be able to learn to do it for myself!

Hi everyone! If you missed today’s teaching, module 1 of our core teaching, it is now available in the classroom. You can read the content and listen to the recording of the live. Then, you can do our weekly practice: ____________________________________________ WEEKLY PRACTICE This week, at least once a day, pause. Not to fix anything. Not to improve yourself. Just to become present. Ask yourself: - What am I feeling right now? - Am I judging myself for feeling this? Stay there for a moment. Notice the sensation in your body. Notice the impulse to dismiss, minimize or escape. This is the practice. Maybe as you are sitting there, connecting with yourself, spontaneously you’ll have access to the loving action to take care of yourself and others in that situation. If nothing comes to you, don’t worry about it. We’ll explore later how to do that. For now, the main point is to become more aware. Do this for a few days, then come back and share with us what you have learned.

On today's call, I experienced the self-connection process with Josée's guidance. It was so much more than I expected! My feeling at the end of the session was "relief" because I ended up dealing with and resolving something unpleasant from my childhood that was occasionally (even though rarely) showing up unexpectedly in my thoughts. That's not what I started out with in the process. I was rather working on a recent unpleasant situation, but, through the process and Josée's gentle questions, this childhood event unexpectedy came back to me (it had to do with what an uncle said to me). And it made total sense in explaining my unusually strong feelings related to the current (rather seemingly small) situation, even though both situations seemed unrelated. My inner child had been hurt. And the process made me grow and evolve as an adult to better take care of my hurt inner child. Two things I had never connected before, when this childhood event showed up in my thoughts, finally got connected together: I just happened to be present at a time when my uncle needed to unload. His hurtful words, which I always accepted as caused by me, were in reality not because of me. I was just the one present as an excuse for him unloading some of his own emotions. What I had not connected is that, at that young age, I still had not realized he was an alcoolic and under lots of stress too. He was therefore not always in control of himself. I only realized that later in my adolescence. But I had never linked that back to the childhood event with him. When I made the link today, when Josée asked me how I would support a child to undestand that situation (annd that it was none of the child's fault) ... my hurt inner child instantly felt relieved. For good I think! Re-reading my text above, I realize it might be confusing to others... but it make total sense and feels so right to me. To finish, as I reflected on this session afterwards, I realize that it led to a fruitful result because I abandoned myself to the process. I did not let my preconceived notions and rational mind tweak the inital asnwers/feelings that were coming up in me as Josée was gently questioning me. Even if these initial answers seemed unrelated to what we started out with. What was first coming up in me was what needed to come out. As I progress in life, I realize more and more that I can trust what shows up in me instantly when questioning myself in a mindful/relaxed state. Call it intuition or inner voice, I guess at this moment I will call it my divine essence talking to me, guiding me.

Comfort isn’t always a big thing. Sometimes it’s almost invisible… but your body knows instantly. For me, it’s sitting on my couch with my iPad, my cat curled up on one side of my legs, and my dog on the other. What about you? What’s a small thing that always comforts you?