💜 What's the question? 😅 I don't know if I can help, but I understand what it is to struggle under the weight of your thoughts. Are your thoughts cruel or just invasive? I can relate to the over-thinking trap. There are two trains of thought that have helped me out in the past and they are totally different. Maybe one will resonate with you. 1) Tell yourself to shut the f#%k up. There was a time for me that "being present" turned into hypervigilance about everything: I was engaged in the meta cognitive observations of my interactions, my working style, my children's actions, their social problems, my own social awkwardness, anticipating what would come next, how to prepare etc etc etc. Luckily, I was so self-aware, I could have the mental conversation with myself to zip it! Likely your narration is quick and hard and you can barely process what you've already thought about a thousand times. Interrupt! Cut yourself off mid thought, scold and yell at the voice as sternly as you can to just shut the hell up! It took me a few weeks of this constant mental rude b!%# behavior, but slowly the thoughts receeded. Ironically, it went so far, that my inner voice vanished completely for a few years. But it was like going no contact with a narc. It worked, I healed my mental chaos and I had peace. 2) Without diving deep into the philosophy, there is a part of non-dualism which spoke to me years ago and when I find myself becoming sour, I think about this. Advaita means 'not two'. When we have a thousand thoughts, often what accompanies these thoughts is deciding if we are right or wrong, too much, not enough, prettier, cleaner, nicer, better, etc. This is not necessary. From the most superficial level to the deepest level, this is not necessary. Let go of what you're taught, what others say is good or bad or usefull or pointless, just leave it alone for a while. Don't count it or rate it or compare it. Let it be, and let it go. I'm sure it can help. In the words of a very good friend, "Comparing yourself to others never leads anywhere good." Beacues you either feel inferior or superior and neither of those lead anywhere good.

@Avasin Agony I second journaling. When I was younger, purging by pen was so powerful, it came on like a compulsion when I felt overwhelmed. Burning the thoughts away sounds like a splendid idea.

This video is in my que. Sweet. It took a long while to learn that suffering is optional. When a child is riddled with the guilt of his parents' guilt of which he is the center, this imprint is etched deep. I'm at net zero, with a troublesome lack of positive direction. I will continue to look inward until I've inspired myself forward.

Yes. Yes, but I have a habit of giving away my gold. I want to keep some for myself. Truth is relative to the present state, and transforms with more new now. It is fleeting. Judging what is valuable is always a task, always needs a less or more valuable to compare. Comparing is daunting and doesn't usually lead anywhere cool. I realize that not careing what others think sometimes invokes negative energy (the neighbors and old biddies at the bus stop for example). I have never fit in, but I love to get lost in a crowd. My life's purpose was to please others, now I continue to assist others without an agenda, yet these activities sustain me. My question: Are you as beautiful as your photo?

@Nama Azubiah Well done. Mine is too. You know you get more likes with honey ;)

I would meditate, read something, listen to something and then write something. 💖Here's two things I listen to, I feed the bestest beastest within: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAhunbRjxI4&list=LL https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1qPhlGE86M