Hey guys Firstly, my deepest appreciation to all of you for being part of the group, especially those who interact on the feed and bring some ideas and life into the discussions. I have analytics on Skool that show me many of you are "lurking" - I can see that people read posts and visit the group, occasionally comment (usually when I'm doing some sort of free giveaway), but otherwise don't really post or support others with comments. I want to know what I can do to improve that. I want this to be a place where you feel encouraged and safe to participate actively, help others and share your experience along the way. I've tried a few things already, like 30 day challenges and polls and giveaways, but most of you remain silent. I know one sure-fire way is to make this group paid-only (remove the free membership tier). This is a last resort for me, but I'm running out of ideas. If you want this group to remain free, comment below (or DM me privately if you're not ready to be seen publicly) and let me know what I can do to increase your active participation. Let's build this thing together and have everyone giving in to the group. Cheers Dan

Hey guys Thanks for all your feedback on the previous post about how to improve the engagement in this group. I went live today to talk about these ideas and what changes will happen in this group. I'll wait for your responses before I make those changes happen, so please take a moment to watch the video below or read through the summary notes and let me know your thoughts. This is especially important for those of you wanting to access this group for free! Cheers Dan

One of the main takeaways I had from Louis Theroux's documentary on the Manosphere was the new cultural norm of contempt for being a good person. Today I want to talk about why it is good to be good, and how relishing in being the bad guy is a sign of mental dysfunction and exceptionally low self-worth, and is therefore a faulty model of living if you want a high quality enjoyable life. As neuroscientist and commentator Sam Harris recently pointed out, the bad guys used to at least pretend they were good. They had to pretend in order to get away with being bad. But these manosphere influencers openly brag about being awful people, and on occasion even openly admit to scamming their loyal followers and customers. So I wanted to write to the few people who will read this and make a case for being a good person. Firstly, I must define what a “good person” is without devolving into pages of philosophical argument. So for the sake of this article, being a good person simply means "you intend to take actions that make life better for those around you as well as yourself." This is not to be confused with people-pleasing, which is a manipulation to give the appearance of being a good person. While the behaviours can often appear to be the same - e.g. self-sacrificing acts of kindness - the intention is different. People pleasers have the primary motive of seeking approval and validation. A genuine Good Person does things for the sake of being good, even if this means being misunderstood, unappreciated, or even hated. To further clarify what it means to be good, we can also define what it means to be bad. For the sake of this post, being “bad” means intentionally doing acts that you know are likely to harm others, for your own gain. Either the goal itself is to cause harm (sadism), or you’re simply willing to cause harm to achieve another goal even when a less harmful way is available, e.g. choosing to make money ripping people off instead of earning it honestly. Being “bad” is not the same as being assertive or doing necessary harm for the greater good. Being a good person sometimes means doing things that people don’t enjoy because in the longer term it would create a higher quality of life, e.g. hosting an intervention for a drug addict, giving a staff member critical feedback, or even using minimal violence at a small scale to prevent violence at a much larger scale.

After much reflection and consideration, I’ve decided it’s time to change how I create content. THE CHANGE, IN A NUTSHELL: Starting from next month, I’m going to be exclusively publishing full podcasts. My written posts and email newsletters will be full transcripts of the podcasts (edited to be readable), so that all formats of my educational publications will be long-form and deep. No more shorter videos (<20min) or posts. I won’t be cutting podcasts into smaller pieces or creating short summaries anymore. The podcasts will still be published as videos on YouTube, but full length. In other words, I’m shifting to a quality over quantity model. WHY THIS IS HAPPENING I’ve completed a thorough review of my best coaching clients and the other people I’ve observed who have made the biggest improvements with building their confidence, creating amazing social lives, and generally living with integrity. I found there’s something they all have in common that I didn’t know: They prefer long-form content. I should have guessed, as it makes complete sense. When they want to change, they go deep. They’ve listened to many hours of my podcast, or read my books in full, or completed entire courses. They engage actively in my 30 Day Challenges. They show up for the Brotherhood workshops, taking notes and attempting the homework tasks diligently. And I’m not the only person they’re following! They invest SERIOUS time and effort into their confidence building and self-development education. I’ve also discretely tracked the other members of my audience, specifically: the ones who “lurk” for a long time, often appearing enthusiastic but not seeming to make significant progress. They have something in common too: they prefer lighter content; medium-length videos, short posts, clips, dabbling briefly in courses, etc. Obviously there are a few exceptions, but these trends generally hold true. I’ve had a rude awakening: I’m actually enabling certain people to consume content obsessively without making serious changes!

G’new years guys. Morten from Norway here. Thanks for all postings. For me, it gives the important feeling of not being alone. I’ve spent the last month redecorating my wife’s rental flat, spent probably 2 k on it. And all this time she’s been complaining and never said a word of “thanks”🤷🏼. This is her project and my spare time/ money. Thia will never benefit me. This constant feeling of never being good enough and this constant pursuit of her happiness or approval is not new on fortunately. Stuck in the same pattern for almost 20 years. The worst coward or nice guy you’ll ever meet. That’s me.