So I have completed the Keptie lens activation, and I feel wonderful. I have actually been feeling great since I’ve been a part of this academy. I got on here today to say that I am loving everything about this academy and how it has been making me feel and view my life and my love life. I have recently reconnected with someone who I have known for about two years going on three and we’re actually considering dating each other we’ve actually been talking every day. Here’s the kicker he lives in a whole different city and State than I do. I am actually loving every moment of talking to him and getting to know him more as someone who used to look down on dating someone in a different city and State thinking I couldn’t do it and now here I actually am doing that very thing. After watching Diana and Will video about their story and how they met I feel even more confident that I can do this. We will physically meet each other in person for the first time in November and I am actually excited.

What I learned, and can now see as a benefit, is that I have to turn my brain off in a way that keeps me from over-functioning. When my brain is fully on, I tend to do the most. I default to control because I know I can do it, and it also causes me to lead with my education. Turning my brain off allows me to contribute without taking over. It gives me space to observe how he leads, appreciate him for leading, and offer emotional warmth.

As of writing this, I only have one real reference point for this. With the last guy I dated, I did not fully relax in the beginning. I was looking for the intense beginning I was used to experiencing. When that did not happen, thankfully, Dionna was there to redirect my attention. Dionna also helped me recognize where I was trying to over-function. At the time, I did not know that was what I was doing. I thought I was just doing what I had always done. I do not think I rejected the care or consistency, but I did notice that I did not know how to fully allow him to help me. That is something I want to be mindful and intentional about with the next man I date. Safe love does not feel like butterflies in my stomach. For me, that is anxiety. Safe love feels peaceful, steady, and not intense. Safe love allows room for mistakes, repair, patience, and kindness. Love is human. It is not performance-based.

If healthy, aligned love showed up this month, I do not think I would struggle to recognize peace anymore because I know what it feels like now. I know what it feels like to be around someone and feel soft, unforced, and emotionally at ease. The part of me that may still struggle is receiving that peace without bracing for it to shift, and reciprocating without overextending once I feel attached. I can receive love, but I am still expanding my capacity for steady love after vulnerability. I can give love well, and my growth is giving from softness instead of overextension.

If the kind of man I say I want showed up this week, I do believe I would be able to recognize him. I have confused chemistry with compatibility in the past. I have also learned that chemistry alone is not enough to build something safe, steady, and aligned. At this stage of my life, I am clear on my non-negotiable. The first is emotional safety and integrity. The relationship must feel emotionally safe, honest, respectful, consistent, accountable, and grounded in mutual care. The second is mutual growth and aligned partnership. Both people must be self aware, spiritually grounded, emotionally responsible, committed to growth, aligned in values, and intentional about building a peaceful, loving, purpose filled life together.