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As of writing this, I only have one real reference point for this. With the last guy I dated, I did not fully relax in the beginning. I was looking for the intense beginning I was used to experiencing. When that did not happen, thankfully, Dionna was there to redirect my attention. Dionna also helped me recognize where I was trying to over-function. At the time, I did not know that was what I was doing. I thought I was just doing what I had always done. I do not think I rejected the care or consistency, but I did notice that I did not know how to fully allow him to help me. That is something I want to be mindful and intentional about with the next man I date. Safe love does not feel like butterflies in my stomach. For me, that is anxiety. Safe love feels peaceful, steady, and not intense. Safe love allows room for mistakes, repair, patience, and kindness. Love is human. It is not performance-based.

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