How a child presents stress, shows up in three familiar ways.

I was chatting with a parent earlier who was wondering why her child can be wonderfully imaginative and engaged with others… but really struggles to start or sustain play on their own. And honestly — this comes up so often. For many children (especially those with ADHD / PDA-leaning profiles), independent play isn’t about a lack of imagination or ability. It’s about how much internal effort it takes to get started, choose what to do, and stay with it. That’s a lot of executive function to carry solo. Something I shared with her — and wanted to share here too — is that when a child can play beautifully with others, the skill is already there. It just needs support to emerge independently, not pressure to perform it. A few gentle things that often help: Starting the play together, then slowly stepping back Using open-ended prompts instead of instructions Keeping expectations small (5–10 minutes really is enough) Letting parallel play “count” And leaning into low-pressure options like sensory play, where there’s no right way to do it What struck me most was how tuned-in this parent already was — noticing patterns, noticing regulation, noticing her child. That attunement matters far more than getting it “right”. Just sharing in case it helps someone else soften their expectations today. You’re not behind. Your child isn’t failing. This stuff grows with safety, time, and trust 🌱 Would love to hear — what does independent play look like in your house right now? 💕

A few parents reached out to me this week about little ones who are struggling with frustration and reacting in ways that end up hurting siblings or friends. If you’re dealing with scratching, hitting, pinching, throwing — you’re not alone. These behaviours look “naughty,” but they’re usually a sign of a child who doesn’t yet know another way to move their big feelings through their body. I want to gently remind you: When a child uses their hands to hurt, it’s usually because that’s the only tool they have in their toolbox right now. It isn’t “naughtiness.” It’s overwhelm without a roadmap. Children don’t instinctively know what to do with big feelings. They learn it from us — slowly, repeatedly, through modelling. One of the most powerful ways we can help is by narrating our own regulation: ✨ “I’m feeling frustrated, so I’m going to take a breath before I speak.” ✨ “My body feels buzzy, so I’m going to squeeze my hands instead of shouting.” When we show them what we do with our feelings, we’re quietly building their internal toolkit — giving them new options they simply didn’t have before. If this has been showing up in your home lately, you’re not alone. And you’re not doing anything wrong. It’s just a sign that your child needs a bit more co-regulation and a few more tools in their belt! Sending you all peace and love 💕

Narrate What You See Instead of correcting behaviour, simply describe it: “I see your body moving fast; looks like you’ve got a lot of energy.” This helps a child feel understood and makes them more open to guidance.

If you ask your child to do something and they instantly refuse, don’t repeat the instruction louder — offer a “tiny choice” instead. Children are far more likely to cooperate when they feel a sense of control. Instead of: “Put your shoes on now.” Try: “Do you want to put your shoes on sitting down or standing up?” or “Which shoe first — red or blue?” Tiny choices don’t spoil children — they reduce resistance by giving their nervous system a bit of autonomy. Especially true for ND kids who can feel backed into a corner by sudden demands. Give it a try today and tell me what choice worked 😄