Thanks to Victor for the “I am an object moving around other objects” exercise. Watching/feeling ME move my body feels useful as a tool to pursue “What am I?”

Last week I had a dyad session with Chapin and he mentioned that he has an uncle that had a giant breakthrough years ago, related to wondering why he suffered. After that, and apparently much work, Chapin tells me he basically doesn't suffer. (Here I'm talking about the kind of suffering we're working on in the group on Sundays, and what Peter is talking about in the book. You know, the kind that is created only in your mind. I'll just call it suffering.) I wondered what it must be like for Chapin's uncle. Then I wondered what it might be like for me if I didn't suffer anymore. After a bit of contemplation, I suddenly realized it is actually possible! (To not suffer anymore.) I then asked, why not give it a try for real? So I did. And it led to a dramatic and easily noticeable decrease in my suffering! Weird isn't it? All I had to do is realize it's possible and this alone made a dramatic difference in my efforts. Of course it helps to also know where the place is. But I already knew that. It was the creation of a new possibility that made the difference for me.

Why Don't You Create a Religion?

Getting up early in the morning is usually a struggle for me, and it’s been that way my whole life. It’s easy to think “Oh I just need more discipline,” or “ my vision or life purpose isn’t inspiring enough to get me out of bed,” or any one of a thousand stories. Today when my alarm rang (in a different room), I got up to turn it off with the usual nonsense going on in my head. “This sucks. I feel like shit. My body hurts. Too cold. Too hot. Not rested enough. Why does my head hurt? blah blah blah…” And then I had this moment of realization that I’m just making things 10 times worse by having these thoughts. I decided to just sit there, and feel the shit. Just feel my body. And just experience all the discomfort. And then all the sensations just became “matter of fact,” rather than a “matter of interpretation or thought” It’s almost like “the sky is blue” or “ the table is red.” “My arm is sore.” Anything beyond the sensation of sore were just overlays of thinking that were just adding suffering to a matter of fact. The thinking was just unnecessary. I could just experience the pain of being sore in my arm without adding suffering to it. Basically, the sensations became distinct from the complaining. I decided to just sit there for two hours, if necessary, just to purposely experience the soreness or discomforts of my body but without adding thought to it. Just experience the sensations of my body, through my body and what it feels, but without adding the activity of interpretation (and therefore ) complaining about it. I intend to make a practice out of this, wake up and allow myself feel icky for 2 hours, and be in my body. No other expectations.