After the EUS workshop: 1. The first thing I got was; waking up the next day with “I am responsible”. It was an insight into my problem of “not being able to choose”. That problem disappeared. The instruction I then gave myself, “to always contemplate from not knowing” opened up the possibility to be active; walk and think without letting that activity distract me from my contemplation. I realized that my body had never distracted me from having an insight or a breakthrough before, so why would my mind distract me? It’s just there. It’s happening as by itself, while there is room for not knowing what its is. That was a cool thought that helped me a lot. 2. Then I came across the concept of “open waiting” and at a certain point the “me” disappeared completely. It became clear, by an apparent deep relaxation of the body that there was no one here. That it was complete and absolute immediately, and that it can never be an experience because it already is as it is. It was a “jezus-f**king-hell” moment lol. A lot of the ideas, sentences, reminders or explanations I had been reading/ hearing about make sense. Like that ‘there is no proces’, or that ‘stuff is not real’ this whole “consciousness babble” that was always interesting to me, but would never bring me into this. Duh..Of course everything is referenced to me! It IS me.” The “me” story shows up as a contraction in the body, always trying to know, to figure out, to have an answer. It is endles, always 'going' somewhere lol and I could call it in itself ‘suffering’ because it is always looking for something else. At the moment it seems silly to dive deeper into the stuff I am NOT conscious of what it is, but not resisting it either. Hanging out. “Open waiting” is a good description. Let’s see where this goes. Thanks Brendan for the facilitation, Peter for the materials and participants for their sharing! Guido

Special thanks to @Ethan Martin for joining the call yesterday. In case you missed it here's the recording. See you in the next one!

I enjoyed this recording on and off. It might bring some insight. https://youtu.be/NAaxaYQptfc?si=iAbR9Pf73zzg2jb6 Dont be distracted by the guru identity✌🏻

Article in the guardian u might enjoy. See link below “I was never bipolar. I never had any highs, it was just massive lows,” he says. “To be technically accurate, I had severe anxiety that led to depression.” He felt he was locked inside a glass box. “Too depressed to go out, lying around in bed.” Foot’s life took a hairpin turn in about three seconds of violent enlightenment one Sunday afternoon while he was driving in the suburbs of south Manchester. He’d stayed overnight, then stopped to see friends after performing his show Swan Power in Carlisle. It was 4.59pm on 20 March 2022 – the occasion so momentous it’s time-stamped in his memory – when, as he puts it, “my consciousness exploded”. To other motorists, the magical rearrangement of brain chemistry – what Foot calls “the event” – going on behind the wheel of the Nissan Micra was invisible. “The car didn’t swerve. There was no pulling over. I didn’t see bright lights. I just carried on driving,” he says. “It was a moment that was both extraordinary and ordinary” – like stirring from a dream. “It was just, ‘Oh, I’ve woken up …’ And it didn’t matter that I’d spent 28 years in a state of depression. It was gone. Everything was different. Immediately, I thought: ‘I’m not an irritable, angry person. That is not my true nature. That is just how I was. I’ve forgiven everything that anyone has ever done to me or will ever do.’” https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2025/jul/21/id-had-28-years-of-depression-now-it-was-gone-comic-paul-foot-on-three-seconds-that-changed-his-life?CMP=fb_gu&utm_medium=Social_img&utm_source=Facebook&fbclid=IwQ0xDSwLuEE9leHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHkbk7kUiTjegfqakiymZ0u0wRB1CSfUq-vnZ_GjZGKdL9V9k-9F-Bj4VIVCR_aem_XxVcVySV8dnLalUkxeNbbw#Echobox=1753078239

Was curious to hear these terms in yesterday's weekly session. Sounds like a powerful distinction to me. So self-inversion would be the experience formed by: 1) observing the flow of thoughts, feelings and sensations; 2) interpreting that flow as a 'self living inside the body'; and 3) reacting to this self in some way. Is that right? @Brendan Lea Can you share the excerpt you were reading from?