Hello all, I've been having a contemplation about the suffering that I experience and what the source assumptions are behind them, and I found something relative to status and notions of good and bad. It seems there's this driving force that says something like there is a "good" or "bad" person or thing I can end up being. That I must be "good" and avoid the bad. That's one for starters. Another one is that I have to attain status or some such otherwise I will be in the "bad" category, and this is bad. I can't do things that would be "bad." So in a weird way I funnel my perceptions, perspectives and actions around this notion of "good" and "bad," and rarely venture outside of them completely, if at all. Which causes me to sort of walk around trying to act in accordance with this ideal or image, but I feel like that kind of sullies my ability to really show up, or actually BE myself, whether in a social kind of context or not, because the quality of really showing up authentically seems sort of independent of notions of good and bad. I'm thinking that these source ideas things could be culture, in a sense, "acting on me" (but not really,) more I have shit in my mind that could have stemmed from my culture. Something like that. Also, in my perspective, it seems like in order to get the truth of things you have to stand on the ground of experience and real perception rather than this culture mind, or any kind of mind stuff in general. Losing more of the "culture mind" seems also to be more free and happy as well. Gotta stand on ur own two feet. I find as I go on that a lot of this "mind stuff" tends to just get in the way in general... (Side note, it's funny that there's an actual overlooked obvious thing. "Overlooked" and "obvious" because it's right here in my experience, but genuinely pretty profound because it's actually true and it creates a huge number of my experiences :) Gotta push forward.

Hey, This is a bit of a martial arts kind of post so if you're into that kinda thing welcome aboard. Anyway, about intrinsic strength, and, by proxy, power. Consider that power actually never DOES come from tensing muscles, at least when hitting. I don't think it ever did. Where power comes from is a mixture of movement and the mass behind the movement. So inherently tensing the muscles doesn't generate more power. Inherently, learning to move the body mass as one whole piece so that all the mass in your body is behind it, and the ability to move is where this power comes from. And what do you know. Body alignments, things like the knee heel and toe, hips and shoulders, hands and feet, etc. are points that connect this whole body. Having those be alive while moving and not segmented will keep the body whole full in one piece and behind every movement it seems. Generating more power. They may seem like "merely body" but genuinely having this occur as an experience is extremely powerful, and not just little "points" and "things to remember" but actually powerful experiences. I think the ability to really BE in this body, so to speak, is the real key that makes a difference here. Surprisingly, there is a lot that is dead or unalive and not "moving from" in our minds and bodies. We might not even fully realize the depth we are lacking if it's all we've ever known. I think the tension, or "frozen pieces," things we don't want to feel or acknowledge is what stops us from feeling this body more deeply. Letting go. We have to fully be willing to let go and drop these attitudes to really feel and liven the body, and then when we can feel and really BE from the body, then it seems more natural that we begin to feel and become conscious of these postural issues and breaks in our bodily integrity. Then we can learn to move and learn and be from this more whole body sense. Anyway, have fun!

All, I think I grasped something actually kind of profound, although it is rather very simple! It's the nature of overthinking, and how that can creates so much unnecessary stuff. I know that some zen schools and "spiritual" type stuff can talk about that a lot, but in a real grounded way, there is a real experientially profound dynamic here. It's that wrapped up in this dynamic, you're not only creating and relating to a bunch of stuff, (that's not really there,) but you also suffer all the consequences of having them. In alignment with my old post about hard work and having a "drama," it correlates there exactly, and then even in relationships, you might not really be relating to your partner or showing up with what's right in front of you! And it FEELS like it also relates to some of the lessons about being "in your head" or the internal person as the alternative. Without all that feels a lot more present and comfortably extroverted, you could just do stuff without jargon and not suffer unnecessary consequences whether you do or don't decide to do something. You can just act without a "drama." Literally just the absence of that alone is hugely relieving and provides bigger opportunities, in my opinion. Even for learning somehow by observation rather than speculation. Also, let me know if I'm yapping too much on here cuz I don't wanna impose. Thanks everyone

Peter talks about 3 legged dogs a lot and that they seem to be totally at ease since they don't hold their situation as a predicament. So here is a video of Deuce, a dog with just 2 legs left. Watching my mind while watsching this video is insightful, noticing that I tend to hold things like "There is no way that little fella can be this happy. How is it even possible that he is able to walk." Revealing how I hold my happieness and my ability to be so much dependent on my corporal integrity.

So i'm new in this work, I have many questions, but it feels like answers won't help from others, I'm having hard time writing this, because I want to clear my confusion with the answers I get, but this whole conflict of not-knowing what to do is also happening in mind, sooo, does anyone have some possibilities to share what to do with this constant conflict in my head, it's like i've had insight or I don't know what it was, but at that moment I was hyper aware how my mind was somethig that was happening without any control, like it was something seperate from my being, from that point I want to believe that mind is something i can completly ignore, but who is the one who tries to ignore it , and by continuesly having conflict like this and wanting to reach this state of seeing my mind like i saw in that moment is getting in my way of doing it, idk