I know I know you probably thought I was talking about romantically dating people from your friend group. I am not going there .. today anyway. When you are meeting up with people you see as romantic and erotic prospects the tendency is to try to impress them. Whether you are interested in a new spicy link up or looking for a long term relationship the urgency in locking them down often feels very real. When it comes to our friends there is a beautiful comfort in being able to do less. Sometimes this is wonderful. I would like to encourage you that it is worth it to make plans that are more robust. Be curious and try to make an effort it helps your friends feel valued and seen. You can do this by flipping through the following ideas. 1. Plan something you think they would enjoy 2. Share an experience with them that you love 3. Plan something together that you both think would be enjoyable 4. Make time to do something that you know they need help with Yes catching up is great and needed. Simple hang outs are the stuff that friendships are built on. Every now and then it's nice to give more than just the pleasure of your company . If you have any ideas let me know below

This is not romance advice. These are the things i would say about any healthy relationship. Healthy relationships require structure I would break structure into standards, responsibility, the ability to repair and healthy communication. A lot of people try to model their relationships after the structure they see online or in movies. This doesn't work because *NEWSFLASH* at best the people online are showing you their highlight reel.. at worst like the movies what they are showing you doesn't exist it's meant to tantalize and or entertain. Structure is the framework which the people in the relationship agree to. There is no uniform structure that all friendships, families or romantic relationships can or will follow and work well. What I have seen work are a mixture of curiosity, vulnerability and mutual respect. Those traits will lead to actions that help relationships to succeed and thrive long term. They drive everything from the desire to see the other person do well to wanting to share fun or interesting experiences together. Lastly, comparing your relationships to other relationships or worse yet to imaginary ones is the root of a lot of bitterness and despair. It's funny one of the major things I share in all of my best relationships is the ability to laugh together. Even through the hard times. How are you planning to level up your relationships in the next month or season?

We all have different happy places. One of mine is around cars and tech. I geek out learning about all the new tech. But also I love seeing cats that bring me back. What's your happy place or places?

Had some thoughts about grief today while I was on my walk. Nothing fancy but i thought I'd share.

Some the reasons community is very important to me - It prevents us from taking our narrative as truth - Gives us reassurance from bad actors - Can help keep us from overthinking - Helps us consider things we would have missed What are things you think are valuable?