I judge myself too much · Spiritual Rebels

I judge myself too much

Judging myself is a pattern my older brother has noticed for a long time and it's one of the only things I feel as I turn a blind eye to while still being aware of it. My thought process goes in loopholes of negative thoughts that I label and identify with it and usually I cry to it rather than rage about it since I found a long time ago that rage didn't help in nothing ( fck I just judged myself LMFAO) its something Im starting to catch on to but it feels terribly hard to endure and the self belief I have in me is none.

Thoughts come of other people around me and how I find all the bad things in them and get mad at them but at the same time I am conscious that its only my emotions going haywire so that hatred or whatever resentment toward that person or something is turned instead inward to not take action on my ego/emotions.

Example: may feel bad toward a little thing said from my girlfriend and I feed into that so much unconsciously that I get to a breaking point where I wanna end the relationship outta nowhere or instead shit on myself on how I'm useless for letting such little thoughts or allowing myself to become so affected about it ( all of that only happens in the mind and maybe you'll see me rocking back and forth pouting like a 12 year old in silence ) then. I cry. Nothing happens and I move on.

But all of that is nothing efficient- since that sole example is to demonstrate how I struggle with thoughts and it takes my whole energy and day away leaving me what people call it depressed.

I'm fully aware of how I'm judging myself yet I can't seem to find a way to stop it because I have to admit it also feels good to ruminate.

I don't expect a solution but this is my lowkey way of asking for help on how to stop this.

The only time's I don't pay attention, move on or simply don't have negative thoughts labeled as bad is when I'm High.

Yeah idk what else to say lol much love to everyone.

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