~ aloha all ~ We stumbled upon Rey through YouTube - "life doesn't reward good people" video - and after clicking around a bit found his spiritual rebels community. We is excited about being here and look forward to what soul stirrings and stretchings come as result of this connection. Wolfia Angusta is a pen name that we have used since 2010. It's actually one of the smallest watering plants in the world and it's significantly smaller than a mustard seed. We started using it during my Saturn return when we cultivated a courageous amount of faith, (moved some "mental mountains"), to leap into the unknown life that was beckoning us to follow the pulse of my heart which lead to a remarkable flavor of freedom that we had not yet tasted before. Since then we continue to refine our palates perspective and feast on the fleeting field of feelings that rise and pass in every moment. Grateful for this existence which seems to be this constant practice of presence.

Can someone try explaining surrendering/letting go in a way that just breaks it all the way down? I read books and hear people talking about it, and every time I sense that I’m starting to surrender, I eventually realize I’m not fully surrendered at all. Perhaps more surrendered than previously, but I keep getting stuck in thoughts that judge my reality in negative ways. I’ve also chosen solitude heavily this last year, as I feel I’m not ready for society anymore. I tell myself I’ll go back to societal ways when I’m in a state of love and abundance, which I get the taste of in very short doses from time to time. Then I think to myself that I’m attached to being surrendered, as I don’t want to live externally until I feel a certain way, which seems counter-intuitive to surrendering. It’s really hard for me to heal when I’m always with people, as I’m way more relaxed by myself. Then again I crave human connection.