Judging myself is a pattern my older brother has noticed for a long time and it's one of the only things I feel as I turn a blind eye to while still being aware of it. My thought process goes in loopholes of negative thoughts that I label and identify with it and usually I cry to it rather than rage about it since I found a long time ago that rage didn't help in nothing ( fck I just judged myself LMFAO) its something Im starting to catch on to but it feels terribly hard to endure and the self belief I have in me is none. Thoughts come of other people around me and how I find all the bad things in them and get mad at them but at the same time I am conscious that its only my emotions going haywire so that hatred or whatever resentment toward that person or something is turned instead inward to not take action on my ego/emotions. Example: may feel bad toward a little thing said from my girlfriend and I feed into that so much unconsciously that I get to a breaking point where I wanna end the relationship outta nowhere or instead shit on myself on how I'm useless for letting such little thoughts or allowing myself to become so affected about it ( all of that only happens in the mind and maybe you'll see me rocking back and forth pouting like a 12 year old in silence ) then. I cry. Nothing happens and I move on. But all of that is nothing efficient- since that sole example is to demonstrate how I struggle with thoughts and it takes my whole energy and day away leaving me what people call it depressed. I'm fully aware of how I'm judging myself yet I can't seem to find a way to stop it because I have to admit it also feels good to ruminate. I don't expect a solution but this is my lowkey way of asking for help on how to stop this. The only time's I don't pay attention, move on or simply don't have negative thoughts labeled as bad is when I'm High. Yeah idk what else to say lol much love to everyone.

Y'all are all perfect ❤️ exactly as you are. Bright shiny stars. I feel an abundance of love and encouragement. Good things are coming, friends. The world is going to be ok. Heaven IS being manifested on the earth right here right now. All we have is this present moment. We're not waiting for a future. We have the authority and the power to bring heaven to Earth. All of the cosmos exists within you. When you have authority over yourself, you have authority over the entire universe. Love, peace and joy is the default state because that is who God is. Yes he is the all in all. Yes he is the destruction and the chaos. Once our brains evolved to recognize right and wrong and good and evil, we created imbalance. By letting go of our judgments we let go of the imbalance, restoring balance to God and to ourselves and the universe. The great thing is, we also exist outside of the universe. We are eternal. We actually are the ones creating and generating this experience. So if we decide that we don't like hurt, pain, starvation, evil, abuse, etc, we have the authority and power to manifest our definition of heaven here! We are God. But we have to recognize the perfection and the balance of the present moment before we have the authority to make the changes we desire. It's possible to hold two truths in your head at the same time.