Ben Hardy Jargon Explained Part 2: Dan Sullivan · Rapid Transformation Mentoring

Ben Hardy Jargon Explained Part 2: Dan Sullivan

As promised after getting "enough" likes, here's part 2 of Ben Hardy jargon, and today I'm gonna roast Dan Sullivan and his Silent Generation wisdom.

(Once I get 15 likes, I'll do part 3.)

4Cs – CONFIDENCE DOESN'T COME FROM FAKING IT

"Confidence doesn’t come from faking it till you make it.

It comes from committing to something and surviving the emotional hangover."

If there’s one personal-development mantra that has doomed more Boomers in front of Gen Z faster than they can roll their eyes, it’s "fake it till you make it."

We’ve all bought into the fantasy that if we fake confidence long enough, somehow we’ll magically morph into the person we need to be.

I’ve seen more ridiculousness come from this than an Amway meeting full of aging men in black coats shouting about "going Diamond."

That’s not confidence.

That’s cosplay.

Dan + Ben are basically saying:

You don’t think your way into confidence.

You commit your way into confidence.

And for us Gen X / older millennials:

It’s like the first time you signed a 12-month gym contract in the 2000s.

You weren’t confident.

You were held hostage by autopay.

That’s commitment.

Or the day you said "I do" in front of everyone.

Not because you were confident you’d be a perfect spouse,

but because you just unlocked a DLC called "Time to grow up."

Here’s the 4Cs in human language:

a) Commitment

The moment you lock yourself in.

You sign the form, say yes, send the deposit, announce the decision, put something at stake.

You cross the line where backing out becomes embarrassing, expensive, or spiritually illegal.

It’s the decision that forces you to show up.

b) Courage

The emotional nausea phase.

You’re not ready. You don’t feel qualified. Your brain is screaming.

But you move anyway.

Courage isn’t bravery.

Courage is: "I’m terrified, but this matters more than my fear."

c) Capability

Your body and brain adapt.

You get better because you stayed in the discomfort long enough to stop sucking.

It’s the phase where:

your hands stop shaking
your voice steadies
repetition becomes rhythm
what once scared you becomes "just Tuesday"

This is identity catching up to commitment.

d) Confidence

This is the last thing to arrive.

It sneaks in quietly, without fireworks.

Suddenly you’re doing the thing you once feared, and it feels normal, even easy.

Confidence isn’t a feeling you start with; it’s the result you earn.

2. UNIQUE ABILITY – WHAT ACTUALLY MAKES YOU STAND OUT?

Growing up in the 80s and 90s as a Chinese kid, standing out was basically a death sentence unless you were outstanding at something useful (translation: something that made money or impressed Aunties).

We were all raised in a hyper-homogenous environment where:

you must ace every subject
especially math
then get pushed into the science stream
then hopefully become something respectable enough to justify your existence

If Harry Potter’s Sorting Hat had to sort Chinese kids, the houses wouldn’t be Gryffindor or Hufflepuff.

It would be:

Doctor
Lawyer
Engineer

And everyone else gets sorted into "Throwing Garbage."

(Side note: I think the Sorting Hat unfairly sorts all Asians into Ravenclaw, but that’s another rant for another day.)

Dan’s point is simple:

STOP THAT SHIT BY TRYING TO BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE AND OWN YOUR WEIRDNESS.

Your life unlocks the moment you stop being "pretty good at everything"

and start being irreplaceable at one weird thing.

Here’s how I see my own Unique Ability:

"I show up in the West, fresh off the boat,

channel my inner Crazy Rich Asian,

fight like Shang-Chi through identity, psychology, and spiritual nonsense,

and make people go:

‘WTF did I just read, and why does it make so much sense?’"

Unique Ability is simple:

It’s the thing you do that feels like play to you,

looks like black magic to everyone else,

and creates an unfair advantage in the world.

Translation:

If someone else can copy what you’re doing after one YouTube tutorial,

that’s not Unique Ability.

That’s just you being a very hardworking NPC.

3. WHO NOT HOW - ARE YOU TRYING TO BE THE WHOLE DAMN AVENGERS CAST?

Most of us were raised on this cursed Boomer platitude:

"If you want something done right, do it yourself."

Great advice for washing dishes.

Terrible advice for building a future self in an interdependent world in 2025.

"Who Not How" is Dan’s way of saying:

Stop trying to be the entire Avengers lineup.

Because right now, you’re probably doing something like this:

Iron Man: ideas and vision
Captain America: leadership and morality police
Thor: zapping from one realm to another and trying to be everywhere
Black Widow: operations, logistics, low-key burnout
Hulk: emotional outbursts you pretend are productive intensity
Hawkeye: random skills that appear once per arc

and the unpaid intern making Canva graphics at 2am

Result:

Burnout. Resentment. 57 open tabs.

And no actual movie getting made.

"Who Not How" flips the script:

Instead of asking "How do I do this?"

You ask "Who already thinks this problem is fun?"

Because someone out there:

loves editing YouTube videos
loves building funnels and spotting weaknesses
loves setting up backend automations
loves spreadsheets (we don’t judge, those people keep civilization alive)

Your future self is supposed to be the director,

not the entire CGI department, props team, caterer, stunt double, and choir.

Translation:

If your to-do list reads like the end credits of a Marvel movie,

you’re the whole damn problem.

Cast some co-stars. Your future self is waiting in the trailer.

4. FREE DAYS, FOCUS DAYS, BUFFER DAYS – STOP LIVING FRANKEN-DAYS

Dan’s time system is basically:

"Stop turning every day into a Frankenstein monster of half-assed tasks."

He splits time into:

Free Days

No work. No "just one email." No "I’ll quickly reply this Slack."

Your brain and nervous system actually reboot.

Focus Days

You do your highest-value thing.

No admin, no errands, no 17 Zooms. Just pure impact.

Buffer Days

You clean up the mess.

Admin, planning, organising, fixing broken links, replying to humans.

But what we actually do:

30 mins deep work
10 mins scrolling
5 mins answering Mum’s WhatsApp
one "quick" invoice
one YouTube video
minor existential crisis

Then we call it a "busy day."

That’s not productivity.

That’s mental stir-fry.

In my words:

A Free Day is when my laptop doesn’t see my face.

A Focus Day is when my wife wonders if I died because I haven’t checked my phone.

A Buffer Day is when I admit Google Drive has become a dungeon and I must face it with a torch.

Translation:

If every day is a bit of everything, then no day is powerful.

Give each kind of energy its own altar.

5. MULTIPLICATION BY SUBTRACTION

When Dan said "You multiply your results by subtracting,"

my Asian math brain short-circuited.

"Multiplication by subtraction? It doesn’t add up."

But here’s what he means:

You don’t grow your life by adding more:

more projects
more offers
more obligations
more messaging groups you secretly mute

You grow your life by removing the stuff that:

drains your soul
distracts your focus
feeds your old identity

You multiply by subtracting:

that toxic client
that product that no longer fits your future self
that role you only keep to satisfy someone else’s expectations
that "nice" thing that quietly murders your energy

Every "no" becomes a force multiplier for what actually matters.

Translation:

If your life feels overcrowded, your next level won’t come from adding more hacks.

It’ll come from one scary delete button.

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