Hey boys thought I’d share something. I’ve released it wasn’t the weed I was addicted too, but deeper then that the story I’ve told myself for about 10 years. If anything weed is probably the worse in terms of building a story due to its psychedelic effects on the mind. It’s goes back to my ego where I was once good with women, then after the massive fall I took…. I’d Substitute that loss by smoking the merry Jane. I think there’s two things I need to do to move forward. Understand the story I’ve created, and rewiring that programming and replace it with good habits. What are your thoughts

If you’ve read my other posts on monitoring conflict, this is where it all starts to come together. Because what stops you from approaching isn’t lack of knowledge, or even lack of opportunity, ( depeding on where you are ofc..) it’s the moment of internal conflict. That split second where one part of you wants to move forward, and another part pulls you back. And if you’re not trained to see that clearly, the wrong side wins. Every time. So let’s make this personal. Most people think approaching should feel like confidence. Like clarity. Like “yeah, I’m ready.” But if you’re honest about your own experience, that’s not what actually happens. What happens is: “I should go talk to her…” “Wait, what if it’s weird?” “Maybe later…” “I’m not feeling it right now…” That right there, that is the moment that matters. Not confidence. Not motivation but conflict. And this is why I keep emphasizing in this group: start monitoring it and the importance of staying present, this obv doesnt apply to only approaching women, but everything we put off doing that we know deep down what we want to do. when you don’t take action, you unconsciously identify with whatever thought is loudest. “I’m nervous.” “I don’t feel like it.” “This isn’t the right moment.” But those statements are subtly misleading. They make it sound like there is one unified “you.” There isn’t. What’s actually happening is: A part of your mind wants to approach A part of your mind wants to avoid And whichever one you identify with becomes “you.” This is where dis-identification becomes everything. Instead of: “I’m nervous” Start shifting to... “I notice the mind is generating nervousness” Instead of.. “I don’t feel like approaching” Shift to: “I notice resistance showing up” Instead of: I’m not confident today” Shift to: “There’s a lack of confidence arising right now” These are not just semantic tricks. This is functional control. I will have to dig out the Dr K video on this, but its a game changer..

Have you ever had one of those strange moments where something you struggled with for months suddenly becomes simple? You didn’t gain more motivation. You didn’t suddenly become more disciplined. Yet the action that felt impossible yesterday suddenly feels obvious. Many people describe these moments as realizations or breakthroughs. Something clicks internally and the struggle disappears. To understand why this happens, it helps to understand a small but powerful system in the brain that is involved in willpower and decision making. Deep in the brain there is a region called the anterior mid-cingulate cortex. One of its main jobs is to monitor conflict between competing impulses. In simple terms, it detects when two parts of you want different things at the same time. One part of you wants to go to the gym. Another part wants to stay comfortable. One part wants to approach someone you find attractive. Another part wants to avoid rejection. One part wants to start the project. Another part wants to open YouTube and relax. When these two impulses fire at the same time, the brain registers a conflict. The system that monitors that conflict activates and tries to resolve it. This is what we experience as hesitation, mental tension, and the feeling of being stuck between two options. The important insight is that willpower is not really about forcing yourself to act. At a neurological level, willpower is much closer to the brain’s ability to monitor and resolve this conflict. When two impulses compete, the system responsible for conflict monitoring stays active while the brain tries to decide which signal should win. That internal tug-of-war is what makes difficult decisions feel exhausting. It’s not the action itself that drains you. It’s the time spent arguing with yourself before the action happens. Think about something simple like going for a run. If you immediately get up and go outside, the action itself might take twenty minutes. But if you spend forty minutes debating whether you should run, checking your phone, imagining how uncomfortable it will feel, and negotiating with yourself about whether today counts as a rest day, the mental effort quickly becomes overwhelming.

Spot how much the mind is resisting To judge is to resist. To not let her be as she is, is not love,.it's resistance. You don't have the right to control her or how she can or should react. So let her be Let her be as she is, this is love... Let her react however she reacts. Let the moment be as it is. Test the moment and see how you react. To see that you are resisting is to take the first step in being okay with what is Noticing your resistance is a huge and underrated step This is where your true confidence or power is.

What are you actually looking for in a woman? Most men answer this question without thinking very deeply about it. They say something like: “I want someone attractive.” And while physical attraction obviously matters, it’s often the only thing many men consciously evaluate. Everything else gets ignored. The problem with that is simple: attraction is easy to notice, but it tells you almost nothing about the kind of person someone actually is. If you slow down and really think about it, there are far more important questions. Is she disciplined? Is she passionate about something in her life? Is she honest? Is she mature? Does she have a good sense of humor? Does she treat people with compassion and respect? Can she communicate well? Can she handle money responsibly? Does she take care of herself? Can she work through problems instead of running away from them? Does she take ownership of her life? These qualities determine whether someone will be a good partner far more than how they look. But many men never even look for these things, because their attention is captured too quickly by appearance. When that happens, the evaluation stops there. The rest of the person is almost invisible. This is why it’s useful to slow down and question your own attraction. Ask yourself what am I actually responding to right now? If the honest answer is “she’s hot,” then that’s not really liking someone... that’s just physical attraction. And those two things are very different. Liking someone means you’ve observed how they behave. You’ve seen how they treat people. You’ve seen how they handle life. It means you’ve paid attention to their character. Attraction, on the other hand, can happen instantly and tells you almost nothing. Another important piece that people often miss is presence. Presence is hard to describe, but once your mind becomes calmer, you start to notice it immediately. Presence is the feeling someone has when they are truly comfortable in themselves. They’re not trying to perform, impress, or constantly seek validation. They’re just there — grounded, aware, and engaged with what’s happening around them.