My Breakthrough story❤️ · New Earth Community

My Breakthrough story❤️

I’ve always been a lively child, full of colors and emotions — funny, and very loving.

I’ve always worn my differences with pride: half Italian, half Polish, daughter of two separated parents who somehow learned to care for each other again.

So I grew up in a family where love was wide and free.

But my biggest love was for my dad.

He taught me to be strong, to stay close to nature, to create and stay in touch with the world — because he often told me that the world could be, and often was, cruel.

Yet I felt protected; I was little, wrapped in safety.

Then, in the summer of my 12th or 13th year, I had my first shock of awareness.

I fell into a depressive state, into the depth of my emotions — and the only thing that helped me face myself became writing, poetry.

I felt emotions so strong they hurt my chest, and the more I wrote, the more I discovered how sensitive I truly was.

So sensitive that on New Year’s Eve of 2020, I felt fear for the first time — the fear of losing the people I love.

While others were celebrating a year still unknown to us, I was writing a poem that later turned out to be a premonition.

Everything grew after that — dreams, thoughts, visions, tears, fears — until that moment arrived.

November 21, 2020.

I felt my innocence being torn from my heart.

I felt the weight of having to become a woman on my own, with no more safety behind my back.

My dad passed away, and suddenly all the sensations I had felt before started to make sense. It terrified me.

I locked myself in my room — long nights crying, endless hours of sleep, because sleep felt close to death, but never quite reached it.

Meanwhile, life went on.

So fast that it didn’t even give me a single day to pause.

I kept going with school, all the way to graduation.

In the meantime, I had started smoking, I searched for my father’s figure in other people, I opened up to the wrong ones, and worsened my relationships at home.

The only constant was my attraction to spirituality — though I already knew my family didn’t agree with these topics.

But I understood I couldn’t keep living such a turbulent life; I had to be light again, like I was under my father’s gaze.

So, once school ended, I began to take back my power — my small revenges.

I worked as a waitress during the summer, started doing online sales, became an entertainer, a piano bar singer, traveled abroad alone, worked in a factory, and grew up.

Along the way, I faced dark moments — especially at work, realizing I was being treated like a number, that no one cared about Cloe, and that not everyone is driven by love or noble values.

Even at home, I spent months facing myself, my thoughts, my long lethargic sleeps — escapes from reality.

I had recreated a positive person within me, but that was only one side. The other side was still hurt.

The turning point came when, slowly, I looked back and realized that I had reconnected with parts of myself — the version of me who no longer smoked, who approached spirituality with curiosity instead of fear, who was stepping out of the victim mindset.

But most of all, I understood that everything had happened for me — that I had chosen it all.

Everything changed when I gave myself back my own power.

The power of having chosen to meet a magnificent soul like my father’s, and to give him the mission of teaching me so much in such a short time.

The responsibility of being a warrior in this life.

The responsibility of bringing great love into the world, even when everything is dark.

I’ve always lived with nostalgia for the present — even as a child, I was never truly innocent.

I lived fully because, before my eyes, I could already see beautiful moments of love fading into the past.

Today, I feel that my maturity lies in knowing that those emotions aren’t lost in time — they are impermeable within me.

So, if today I could leave you with something, I would tell you this:

Give yourself back the power over your life.

Take back your responsibilities.

Understand that you chose all of it.

And embrace, with love, every single thing that has happened to you.

Inside your pain, you can find your life’s purpose.

In mine, I found wisdom and spirituality — like a father showing you the world with love, reminding you that love can still be felt, even when you can no longer see it. ❤️

Cloe, 21 years old.

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