The matrix had me, but now I am free. I am simply having fun bending reality to my will until I exit the simulation and never return.

"I refuse to play the game. I refuse to flatter egos. I refuse to pretend everything's fine. I refuse to smile when something inside me is breaking. And my refusal is powerful, but it's also lonely." - Deep Thinkers (ebook)

Finding this book hard to read, is it worth persisting?

Hello everyone. This is long overdue, but better late than never! My name is Jordan, I'm 31 years old, and I live in New Jersey. I'm committed to helping others expand their consciousness and live happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives. Many tools along this path have and continue to transform my life for the better. Without them, I wouldn't be here writing this right now. The least I can do is share my journey and help others along their own. Spreading the information of what has helped me and how I've grown and healed. Some of the most powerful tools for me have been diet, exercise, spirituality, meditation, psychedelics, creativity, and many more. There are many ways to improve our lives that are neglected by society and the education system. I aim to correct this deficit. From my perspective, my story has five major phases so far. I'm still fully solidifying and shaping it day by day, so this is great practice. I've already gotten so much out of this life reflection. Phase One, Primary Programming: On the surface, I had a great childhood. Where I had hidden neglect and pain was in the emotional and mental department. My parents did a good job of providing for my physical needs, but not so much my emotional ones. My mom did her best but ended up being very critical, and my dad was very passive when it came to direct interaction and raising children. My parents also didn't have healthy drug habits; functional addiction was a strong theme. And it passed on to me. Even before it was drugs, it was television, food, and video games. The numbing and escaping that my parents showcased became the norm for me as well. Before moving on, I want to mention that I don't hold any animosity towards my parents for my upbringing (not anymore, at least). They did the best they could, and it could have been so much worse. I'm very grateful for the hand I was dealt and all the teachings that have come with it. Phase 2, Self-Shaping Shifts: These patterns and habits continued right alongside the mounting pressure from society. I started experimenting with drugs at 17. Weed soon became my drug of choice to enjoy and numb with. I start experimenting with psychedelics recreationally. They taught me much about using drugs in moderation, and expanded my mind to many greater possibilities in general. This is phase two because drug use, with all its positives and negatives, would become a major theme of my life. Become a part of me. An unhealthy, self-medicating and coping part of me, as well as a part of me committed to a higher purpose, curiosity, learning, healing, self-discovery, and growth. I go to college. It feels like I'm living a life chosen for me. Here I go, off to learn how to do the thing I'll do for the rest of my life. I was told I had to pick something. I like drugs. Why not pharmacy?