My Breakthrough Story · New Earth Community

My Breakthrough Story

My Story — and Why I Am Who I Am Today

I grew up in a small village, a free, carefree child—always in the forest, between fields, and up in fruit trees. I loved discovering, observing, and losing myself in nature.I was raised in a Christian family, prayed regularly, and spoke to God. Home was warm and loving. Part of my childhood unfolded at medieval fairs, with cannons, fire kitchens, and a great sense of freedom. I was allowed to be among the adults—listening, learning, trying out crafts. There was singing, dancing, and playing with fire—there I felt freer than anywhere else.

When I was seven, a very close friend died. In that moment, the world I had known was shaken. Panic attacks and deep fears became constant companions. My body trembled, my heart raced, and I felt as if I might die at any moment.The illusion of control crumbled. I understood: life ends—sometimes much sooner than we think. Children die, too. This certainty did something to me that I could no longer push away.

I tried to ignore the fear. During the day, play and bustle distracted me. At night, alone in bed, it returned—the fear of death. My mother did her best, yet I felt her worry and helplessness. So I kept my fears more and more to myself.

I began asking God questions: Who are you? Are you there? Do you protect me? I asked because I knew no other way.From the fear grew psychological strain, self-doubt, and resignation. I withdrew and spent much of my childhood and youth alone.

With the onset of puberty came a phase of inner numbness. I cried a lot, felt unloved, and was convinced I would always be alone.When I started my vocational training, a new environment brought the chance for a fresh start. I found friendships, joy in life, and could finally be who I truly was again.

In the course of that, I visited a place called Taizé, which fundamentally changed my view of religion and faith. That time was full of self-reflection and personal development, which deeply influenced my growth.

Then I met Joshua—and only then did the path of true realization begin.He opened the world of spirituality to me, showed me how to face my shadows, dissolve old decisions, and consciously pursue the search for my higher self.

Above all, I learned to love myself.The greatest shift? Releasing old beliefs—layer by layer. The more I let go, the more I found myself. I became more content, and life became lighter.

My story has taught me: no matter how hard it gets—I keep going. I look forward because deep inside I know: the sun is always there, even when it’s cloudy.

My advice to someone at the beginning:

Every beginning is hard, but it gets easier.

True change is not found in comfort.

Truth sets you free. Be honest with yourself.

No one but you is responsible for your life.

Thank you for reading.

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