Breakthrough Story - late... me like always ^^'

I had a loooong, very long text... because once I start writing I can’t stop and everything just comes to mind and it gets all confusing... So, to make it easier to share, and more digestible, while keeping the important parts, I asked ChatGPT to make a summary of each point.

By the way, when I read the summary, it used “you” instead of “I,” so it felt like reading the words of someone else who knew my story, and it really moved me.

Seeing some of those phrases helped me gain a new perspective on myself. Just for that, I’m truly thankful. ^^

1. Before “The cage called perfection”

I grew up walking on eggshells always alert, measuring every move so no one would yell, judge, or reject me. I learned early to silence myself, to predict reactions, to be the “good girl” everyone would accept. My dreams of being a dancer, or a singer, even an athlete stayed hidden under layers of shame and fear of “being too much.” I became the caretaker, the listener, the one who made others feel safe because deep down I longed for that same safety. By my early twenties, living in France, the cost of always pleasing others had hollowed me out. I were trapped in a job I disliked, a relationship that dimmed my light, and a mind drowning in exhaustion. The mask cracked when depression and agoraphobia took over, and even my dog Annya that I got once I realise if I was waiting for the right time it would not come, after my first suicide attempted. I got her also to help me with my depression and agoraphobia. But my "demons know how to swing", and Annya became both my anchor and my guilt as my agoraphobia went for 2 years. I stayed alive mostly for her… and for my mother.

2. Crisis “Enough was enough”

By 2013, despair had reached its limit. I thought going back to Portugal might help, but instead I began planning my death, even thinking of how to spare others the inconvenience. Then came an unexpected call from my mother in Switzerland needing help for a surgery. If doing the surgery she would be at least 3 month unable to to things alone. Without knowing how, I said "I go to be with you and help you". That decision seemingly small, purely for her interrupted my plan to die. I didn’t go because I was healed, I went despite being broken. But that act of choosing to help became the first invisible thread pulling me toward life again.

3. Chase — “Step by step, breath by breath”

In Switzerland, life forced me to face everything I feared: work, people, judgment, exposure. I got a job in an Italian restaurant, terrified yet determined. I coached myself daily like a soldier of my own mind. Saying things like "Leónia, they don't know who you were, what you did, if you were even fatter or not... as long on this day foward, you do your job, are nice and respectful, dont talk back, they will be fine with you. You just need to do your job they wont care if you are fat or not, this or that, as long you do what you are supposed to do" Each morning, every hour and every day, was a battle, but also a victory. It wasn’t about confidence, it was survival with purpose. To support my mother. And with that purpose, discipline became medicine. Little by little, the cage opened.

4. Conflict — “The fire of endurance”

Every day demanded more than I thought I had. The body pain, the long hours, the exhaustion, I cried everytime I was alone, suffered in silence, but I didn’t quit. I You worked through physical agony and emotional chaos, learned to lead, to be seen, to stand in responsibility. And just when things seemed to improve, life sent a new trial, a toxic relationship with a narcissist that spiraled into darkness. It tested every limit of my soul until I reached a moment of terrifying clarity: either he dies, or I do. But instead of either, I chose to end it. That was the beginning of reclaiming my life, a fierce act of self-preservation disguised as heartbreak.

(Side note — ever since that relationship, I find that the relationship between people and the government is a lot like being in a relationship with a narcissist…)

5. Breakthrough — “The mind is the key”

After the storm, came the realization: everything begins in the mind. I saw how inner dialogue the way I coached meself through fear, pain, and humiliation, had been my greatest weapon. The mind can imprison or liberate us, and Ihad proof of both. The true power wasn’t outside, but inside, in that quiet decision to keep going, again and again, even when everything hurt.

6. After — “Reclaiming the inner force”

That period taught me self-leadership, mental strength as a survival art. I learned I could change my life by mastering my inner voice, and that’s what I now wish to share: the power to reclaim one’s sovereignty. Yet today, I find myself once again in a threshold moment. I know that inner fire is still within me, but without an external reason to ignite it, it feels dim. There’s a longing to move from survival to creation, to live for myself, not for others. I’ve built tools like sound healing, and I sense that the next step is visibility: stepping into my own light even if I tremble. Fear is still here, but so is the knowing that I’ve risen before. And that means I can rise again.

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