A gift in the gutter - Breakthrough story

Born into a very religious household, the youngest of six boys I quickly learned that I was different. I loved deeply, cared tremendously and felt everything.

In a world I couldn't understand, I remember lying awake frequently wondering why things were the way they were. Constantly trying to figure out the meaning of life, how it all began and why are we here. My family spoke of God in ways I didn't understand. They all had faith, they claimed God answered their prayers but not me. God seemed to have forgotten about me.

before the age of ten I was diagnosed with ADD and medicated for it - The first generation of kids that didn't fit into the "box" society wanted me in and I became an outcast. More diagnoses quickly followed. They couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. Little did I know that i wasn't broken just gifted. Gifts considered and labeled as disorders.

I found solace in drugs to escape the pain of being abused at home, at school and at church. No amount of drugs helped me fill the void inside. By age 18 I had already been through 3 drug/psychiatric rehabs and had attempted suicide over a dozen times. I moved away from home before I turned 19

Years that followed I did everything I could to "fit" in. Doing things that I was told I should do but didn't align with my soul although I didn't know this at the time. I just felt lost - constantly.

Wandering through failed job after failed job, failed relationship after failed relationship I found my way into my darkest pit of despair. The beginning of my 8 year dark night of the soul. I remember that night like it was yesterday. I was using drugs heavily and a powerful message came upon me. I was given a choice - keep using drugs or stop. That night, I made the wrong choice. I felt pure evil wash over me, lift me up and my body contorted, twisted and wretched in ways that I could not control.

Over this 8 years I lost my soul, I found myself surrounded by narcissists and demons. To the point I began hearing voices, the demons had entered my mind - the one place I held as sanctuary. Endless terror and despair filled my world. Finally I broke. Ran home to my parents with my tail between my legs. Thank god I managed to get clean and take back control of my life, of my soul. After 3 months I moved out again to where I am now in Denver Co, USA.

Just over 1 year ago (October 17th, 2024) I had my awakening. The Divine Feminine woke me from sleep saying "ALEX, ITS TIME!!!" I answered the call, and every day since then I have devoted my life to serve her. I took the leap of faith and she has guided me every step of the way, she guided me here.

I am so grateful to have found likeminded individuals. This space - it feels like home.

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