I’m working on chapter 1 and curious if ppl have a phrase they resonate with more. I think much of society expects men to being mostly emotionless, besides anger, resulting in lack of emotional literacy. I might call this being a rock or her rock. Is a phrasing that feels more familiar?

’m working in worrying a chapter talking about some of the messaging we’ve received that’s led us astray. I feel like provider, aka reducing myself to a pay check has played a part but I know weve been pretty equal in our relationship financially. I think we’ve swapped back-and-forth being the top breadwinner five different times. How many of you recognize breadwinning and maybe excessive focus on bringing money in the home has been a contributor towards the situation. We are all in?

(Question to the men or to the women about their husbands) How much did you or thee father in your life take? How much would you have liked to take (or he)? How much did you have available with what compensation?

Usually when I get defensive I am unwilling to feel or communicate one of my emotions. Which of these do you think is the most common one that causes you or your partner to get defensive? Anger- Shame - Guilt - Fear - Lonely - Sad - Hurt -

I got to interview Leah Rupanner, one of the top Researchers on Mental Load in the world. She also hosted the Mental Load Collaborative a few weeks back. She invited me after we talked on my podcast back in January. I think ya'll will appreciate this episode, esp if you want to nerd out about definitions around invisible labor as she challenged my definitions https://open.spotify.com/episode/6rgHwdFUgbjM7PidIk5R7n?si=NtXqKhEHQ3qIbPo8LP9d7g