(Question to the men or to the women about their husbands) How much did you or thee father in your life take? How much would you have liked to take (or he)? How much did you have available with what compensation?

I got to interview Leah Rupanner, one of the top Researchers on Mental Load in the world. She also hosted the Mental Load Collaborative a few weeks back. She invited me after we talked on my podcast back in January. I think ya'll will appreciate this episode, esp if you want to nerd out about definitions around invisible labor as she challenged my definitions https://open.spotify.com/episode/6rgHwdFUgbjM7PidIk5R7n?si=NtXqKhEHQ3qIbPo8LP9d7g

If you’re open to it I’d love to hear what your family looks like too?

Every home that is struggling with equality of invisible labor has a conversation they are struggling with that takes on different flavors, which one are you struggling with the most?

I don't want my sister in law to see this on line, so I'm going to both rant here and invite other people's experiences. In the last 4 years I've either been not invited to, or my wife has been invited but I haven't or men were not very present at Baby showers: Our babyshower: 4 guys, 30 women best man baby shower: not invited, but a bunch of our wives were Alyssa's brides maid: sister- in-law: Alyssa invited, no men invited really good friend: not invited our sprinkle for twins: I had to convince my mother in law and aunt in law to invite the men and boy cousins not just the women sister- in-law: Alyssa invited, no men invited This event feels like such a tone-setter for how the mental load and cognitive and emotional labor will be owned in the relationship. I think that if we want there to be less of a ton of bricks change in mental load ownership upon the children arriving, we need to include and do the emotional labor of having men be a part of these events. All of the items that show up for THE BABY, not the mom, that both parents will likely be using, become owned my mom because of the context they are given. Would love some thoughts on how your showers went/how it impacted the way you saw your fatherhood