Chapter 2 of my book is pretty similar to Week 3 of the trainings in here. I first gave an objective example of cognitive labor and wanted to include a section that says "What the big deal?" This was a draft I wrote on this trying to draw from something that I think a lot of us men doing the cogntiive labor on and might feel slighted if not acknowledged for, would love feedback on how you received this: I remember the day I got a promotion at work from a cold caller booking calls to being promoted to an account executive at my company and one of my colleagues that performed with similar numbers that got passed over said they must just like me more. I almost lost my shit, I couldn’t help but feel so unseen in my efforts to get here. In my first 5 months in the role, I carefully payed attention to the top producers, looked and found opportunities to talk with them and learn from them. Then when my performance started improving and i was getting recognition for it, I started strategizing how to make a next move upward. I asked a colleague that had been promoted recently and asked what they had done, then I followed. I reached out to multiple of the hiring managers, got real and virtual coffees with them. Got referrals for reps I should talk with and books I should read. I asked multiple of the people in the position I wanted about their best deals. I listened to hours of audiobooks and recorded calls, then set up time with them to talk through the experiences and asked them about my strategy for getting to the next level, many of them confirmed i was doing the right things. I remember being so unseen in the effort I had put in on top of my regular performance. I was actively aiming to be in the rooms where candidates were talked about, I had put together a strategy and executed on it. I remember asking him what he had done to prepare for the interview process and the relationships he was building with the leadership. He shrugged and said, ya i talk to people all the time. I could tell by the tone in his voice and engagement in the question, he had not put those same hours in.

Every home that is struggling with equality of invisible labor has a conversation they are struggling with that takes on different flavors, which one are you struggling with the most?

I heard yesterday there was a survey for a study regarding. School/cMp communications, one woman got 94 in a week as the default parent, who manages these in your home?

Ive been thinking about the journey I’m on and what I’m striving for and trying to identify where pride and confidence guides me. I think I’m often striving to be as good a partner and the best parent I can be, and the why underneath that is I feel like that’s a life worth living, where I’ll get to my death bed and feel like I gave the best parts of me to the right people in my life. I’d love to hear y’all articulate what y’all are striving for and the guiding “why” underneath?

I remember my first four fathers days wanting to be about me as a person more so than me as a father in my relationship with my child. I select all day out doing other things and/or just wanting Alyssa to be the default parent. This year we had grandparent support and 3 kids vs 1, I noticed that I just wanted to spend time w/our 4 y/o as it didn’t always feel like I got to invest in that relationship the same way. I’m curious how the seasons of fatherhood have driven the interest for how to spend fathersday for yall?