Love this from Brene Brown - https://youtube.com/shorts/yfL4RTuC9Bk?si=kClSsYth7fxXVMtT Marriage isn't 50/50. One spouse may be doing better than the other, both may be doing well, or both may not be doing well. When one is doing better than the other, you carry that extra load. Then you need to have a plan for when you both aren't at your best.

@Zach Watson Gotcha. Well, fair or not, I believe more is required of men. So what drives me is simply my values. Showing up for my wife and family is just part of being a family man. If that thought/feeling comes up that I'm tired and just don't want to do this (whatever "this" may be in the moment), it gets overridden by my belief. I said I was going to be a great family man. Time to prove it. This is what's required of me. Those moments of testing are about my integrity as a man, and about me showing love and care to my family. In regards to not letting her baseline fall too low, that should be something that's agreed upon. When both of you are doing well, you have a conversation about who does what and what's expected of each other. That way, if it's consistently not happening, you are able to say, "I feel like we haven't been operating the way we agreed too. Are you ok? Anything I can do? Do we need another plan?" It's a check-in, not an accusation. There's a standard you both agreed to that you can point to. That way it's not just us husbands complaining that we're "doing more." We're holding each other accountable, for lack of a better term.