Activity
Mon
Wed
Fri
Sun
Jul
Aug
Sep
Oct
Nov
Dec
Jan
Feb
Mar
Apr
May
Jun
What is this?
Less
More

Memberships

Mental Load Basics

749 members • Free

12 contributions to Mental Load Basics
“Being her rock”
I’m working on chapter 1 and curious if ppl have a phrase they resonate with more. I think much of society expects men to being mostly emotionless, besides anger, resulting in lack of emotional literacy. I might call this being a rock or her rock. Is a phrasing that feels more familiar?
1 like • 8d
Partner, co-leader, Spock, heart, Watkins, Robin, *insert famous side kick here* Yeah, let’s get away from rock. Rocks just sit there and do nothing. If she’s not sharing funny memes or reels with you the chemistry check is failing. Here’s today’s humor because we’re nerds: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXuy13sjGqf/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
Rant Session - Baby Showers
I don't want my sister in law to see this on line, so I'm going to both rant here and invite other people's experiences. In the last 4 years I've either been not invited to, or my wife has been invited but I haven't or men were not very present at Baby showers: Our babyshower: 4 guys, 30 women best man baby shower: not invited, but a bunch of our wives were Alyssa's brides maid: sister- in-law: Alyssa invited, no men invited really good friend: not invited our sprinkle for twins: I had to convince my mother in law and aunt in law to invite the men and boy cousins not just the women sister- in-law: Alyssa invited, no men invited This event feels like such a tone-setter for how the mental load and cognitive and emotional labor will be owned in the relationship. I think that if we want there to be less of a ton of bricks change in mental load ownership upon the children arriving, we need to include and do the emotional labor of having men be a part of these events. All of the items that show up for THE BABY, not the mom, that both parents will likely be using, become owned my mom because of the context they are given. Would love some thoughts on how your showers went/how it impacted the way you saw your fatherhood
2 likes • Apr 9
I hear you that lopsided gender participation reinforces lopsided gender roles. We did a gender reveal for our first, it was at a family reunion. The “bet on what it will be” and nobody knows till we cut the cake that bypassed “the baby shower” ickies ( probably 60/40 women to men ratio) The best Idea I’ve heard recently is more like “bet if baby(babies) will be born before or after due date” I like that it takes gender out of it but then it seems like we’re back to look at the belly/shower games. The idea I think would appeal to all. I think traditional shower games are so awful. I’m sure you could do a whole set of reels of bad shower games vs improved modern twists. My mind thinks why not both a men’s and co-ed get together? How about a Big Daddy night? (Aka dads supporting dads) Men giving men the confidence to step in during the infant phase. I want to shoutout to my husband (who will never read this) for making the best baby burritos with the Velcro wrap and wearing our baby so I could sleep. If those can be party games go for it.
Day 2- 21 Day challenge
Physical - pulled up old flooring and put into trash Cognitive thought about the air quality and dust flying around, realized I would need to put cats in a different area so I could keep the windows open and bring their littler box down Emotional- respond calmly when our child really struggled upon me flushing the toilet rather than them, and being kind and compassionate in that moment.
1 like • Oct '25
Physical - Picked up discarded bedding from back yard, trashed what was too far gone. Cognitive - practiced chess openings so I can help my 11yo tonight Emotional - I said No thank you, set clear expectations, and stayed calm through a long tantrum
Day 1 (21 Day Challenge)
Share 3 things that had to be thought of first before they happened today 1. School lunches 2. Appointment change 3. Contacting home owner to make alterations
3 likes • Oct '25
1. At home medical test, putting box in place where I would see it this morning 2. Picked up Rx Refill that I requested yesterday 3. Lunch with friend, confirmed Tuesday
Football widows have entered the chat
Just finished week 3 of 22. Every game is important, Thursday night, Sunday 10am-9pm, and Monday night. They are in a state of fight or flight over every interaction. Then mad at dinner time, that everyone was hungry and it wasn’t handled.
0
0
1-10 of 12
Sky Murphy
2
2points to level up
@sky-murphy-2532
California Mom Entrepreneur PCC MSEE, Equestrian, Kids ages 11 & 7, NeuroSpicy, Enneagram 7.

Active 8d ago
Joined Feb 3, 2025
Powered by