Talk to Yourself! The Conversation Could Be the Answer!
I had the longest conversation with myself on my the way home from work today. I may have mentioned this already, but I work at a tavern part time. Every so often and because it is a mile up the road from my current residence, I will walk to work or home from work whenever it strikes me. Well, earlier tonight, I decided to do just that... and low and behold, what is basically in my far-sighted peripheral face the whole walk home? 🌝The Scorpio Full Moon in all it's Flower Moon glory! And with me being a Scorpio and my moon being in Virgo, I felt the need to have the deepest, transformative conversation about the "imperfections" of my transformation into not just the evolvement of my person, but also with the nagging notion of this apartment complex that I've been pulled to apply for an apartment for. Why is so pertinent to the story? Well... I'm SO glad you asked! 😅 For the past few weeks, I've had this pull and resistance to apply for this apartment across the highway from where I currently live. To give context of relevance, my healing journey had to consist of alleviating trauma that was caused by my mother whom I currently live with. Now, of course nothing against her, but there have been some changes in our relationship that has just brought me to a point to where I know and realize that I cannot reside under the same roof as her (under the pretense of caring for her as my father passed away shortly before the pandemic) and progress in my own healing journey (which consisted of not just trauma recovery, but also addiction recovery) has brought me to a point to where I cannot become the person I need to be directly living under her roof. This is some of the reason for the push/pull to get this place. The previous was one aspect perspective of this moving situation. Another context of relevance has to do with the uncertainty that if I get this place, will I be able to maintain financial stability to sustain the rent. It's weird because I am worried about that to a degree, but something else (???) is telling me that even though I don't know the answers as to how that is to come about that it will... here's the odder thing about this: I'm not sure if that's my gut, my mind, or my heart telling me that...but something within feels solid about that notion... ...and that personally scares me!