My biggest insight was that I have a big problem receiving. I like to give but when it comes to receiving I almost feel like I had to earn it somehow because when I was young I thought I had to earn my parents love. Even lately when good things came my way I would allow it for a bit and then push it away thinking I'm not worthy of it. I also need to continue to allow life in while not gripping hard trying to control every outcome. When I truly let go not only does life open up, but my body as well.

Here you can learn to meditate and become aware of your thoughts. This meditation helps develop the foundation for which you'll be doing releases and change. https://youtu.be/p4xASSSbRvg?is=L5xe5IQKtCVtld4g

Day 1 was great. Thank you Aaron! This is me before my father died. He took his own life after bouts with bipolar depression before it was understood, and when mental illness was more stigmatized than today. In order to cope with such a tragic loss, and find a new partner, my mother suppressed her emotions, including all the grief—and to maintain her love, I did the same. The new guy she married was emotionally and verbally abusive to her and to me and my younger sister. In order to survive, I disconnected from my self. I held my grief and my anger inside, and adopted a pattern of adapting myself to who others needed me to be that stayed with me into adulthood. I built a career by making myself valuable and suppressing my authentic self—and it took me all the way to the top of my field. But then I got fired, and it was the most devastating thing that ever happened to me (in my adult life). Now I’m moving through the pain and the anger I didn’t know was inside of me, so that I can become my authentic self and create the life I came here to lead. And it’s been the most difficult experience of my life. My biggest takeaway from today was to practice seeing the pattern and accepting it, which just leads me to want to grieve for what that boy never got to experience and how much he suffered. I have to manifest my first client for my new consulting practice and a check in the next 2 weeks, because I am running out of money, and so part of me is freaking the f- out and screaming at myself to hustle and make it happen. Screaming at myself about what a lazy useless poc I am. All the old patterns, which I sometimes have to work hard at being able to see. But another part of me is telling me to keep healing the grief because on the other side of it I’ll know exactly what to do, and manifest my first client without hustling. That they’re already on their way to me. I can see so clearly that the pattern is believing I have to adapt myself in order to get love (or money from a client). To get my needs met.

Howdy, it's Chris, currently in Coolidge, AZ. It's a privilege to be here with you all...my inner child is finally at peace, feels loved, and had a chance to run amuck and express himself...now, I and i intend to remain aware and conscious in the present moment, to stop slipping back into the old illusions, and to remain in harmony with the true nature of reality...

Watch this 1min video.