Would you buy it?
[Upbeat, slightly over-the-top jingle plays in the background]
Narrator: [Cheerful, overly enthusiastic tone] "Are you tired of the long, tedious process of building trust the old-fashioned way? 📜
Well, worry no more!"
[Sound effect: Record scratch, as the tone shifts to an overly exaggerated, infomercial style]
Narrator: "Introducing... ✨Instant Trust Tricks!✨
The lightning-fast solution to all your trust-building needs!"
[Background sound: A crowd gasping in mock amazement]
Narrator: "With our revolutionary and questionably effective methods, you'll be able to establish trust in no time at all. ⏰
How quick, you ask? So quick, it's almost like it never happened!"
[Sound effect: A comical, rapid whoosh]
Narrator: "Forget about genuine connection or understanding!
With Instant Trust Tricks, who needs depth when you can have instant, superficial rapport!"
[Background sound: Laughter and clapping, slightly off-beat]
Narrator: "Our tricks include the “Soul-Baring Speed Round" ⚡️⚡️⚡️
Participants are encouraged to share their deepest fears or secrets with the group within the first few minutes of the meeting. It's like diving into the deep end without checking if there's water in the pool.”
[Sound effect: Deafening silence while one person is chuckling awkwardly]
Narrator: "Or try the “Intimacy Overload Icebreaker" ⚠️⚠️⚠️
This activity involves staring deeply into a partner's eyes and sharing what you believe their life story might be, based on your intuition. It's uncomfortably close and personal – a surefire way to jump past boundaries in record time.”
[Sound effect: The crowd swoons with “Oohs” and “Ahhs”]
Narrator: "And who can forget the classic “Synchronized Trust Squats" 💪💪💪
A rapid, high-intensity 'workout' where participants are paired up to perform synchronized trust falls and back-to-back storytelling while doing squats. Watch the trust 'build' right before your very eyes!”
[Sound effect: Magical swoosh]
Narrator: "Order now, and we'll throw in the 'Instant Empathy Elixir' – just a sip, and you'll feel like you care! Disclaimer: Elixir does not actually induce empathy."
[Background sound: A cork popping and liquid pouring]
Narrator: "Instant Trust Tricks – because who has time for authentic relationship building?"
[Sound effect: A clock ticking rapidly]
Narrator: "Call within the next 10 minutes, and you'll also receive our guidebook: 'Quick Trust? Quick Bust! – How to Pretend It's Working.' ☎️
Don't wait, call now!"
[Background sound: A phone ringing and upbeat music fades back in]
*Disclaimer: Instant Trust Tricks does not guarantee real trust, lasting relationships, or any form of genuine human connection. Side effects may include awkwardness, distrust, and occasional laughter at its absurdity.
[The jingle reaches a crescendo and ends with a humorous thud]
Narrator: [Voice fading out] "Instant Trust Tricks – because real relationships are just too much work!"
✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨
I'm sorry to disappoint you!
If you were hoping I'd actually be selling “Instant Trust Tricks” this Black Friday - they don’t exist!
In reality, creating a space where people feel safe enough to let their guard down and share requires patience and commitment.
This is why I also am not a huge fan of the “once-a-year” team-building sessions that I see a lot of organizations investing in. You'll have so much more impact if you dedicate a couple of minutes to every meeting or 15-30 minutes once a week.