THIS QUESTION CHANGED HOW I THINK ABOUT COMMUNITY (AND NOW I CAN’T UNSEE IT)

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MY BRAIN DID THAT THING IT DOES (YOU KNOW THE ONE)

I was scrolling, yup just scrolling like a normal human, when I saw this post asking

“How do you grow your community?” and immediately the comments filled up with the usual stuff, traffic, platforms, YouTube, TikTok, Frank (OBVS, because Frank will always Frank IYKYK), funnels, links, where people are coming from, how to get more eyeballs through the door… and honestly, I get it, that angle makes TOTES sense (before anyone gets their panties in a twist, I’m not even coming for it).

BUT my brain didn’t go there first. It did that sideways tilt thing it does (the one where you pause mid-scroll and stare at thin air for a second like you’ve left your body), because whenever I think about growing a community, I don’t always start with how people arrive. (I still do have my traffic moment btw, let’s be real and open here)… but now I try to start with what happens AFTER they’re already inside.

And then this question just sort of plopped itself into my head and refused to leave (like that crazy mosquito that buzzes around when I’m trying to visit the land of nod, and yes I can hear it right now just thinking about it) 🦟

Q — HOW DO YOU GROW THE PEOPLE INSIDE THE COMMUNITY?

Not the numbers. Not the headcount. The HUMAN HUMANS. And that shift alone feels kinda massive AF to me, like one of those HELLO / DUH / OBVS moments where once you see it, you can’t unsee it (and now I’m not sorry because you won’t either).

HERE COME THE PINGS dat PINGED!!!

💡 LIGHTBULB MOMENT #1 (THIS ONE MADE ME STOP AND STARE INTO THIN AIR FOR A BIT)

A community doesn’t grow just because more people arrive. It grows when the people already inside start to MOVE. Not a race, not a performance, not suddenly becoming confident internet extroverts overnight (HMMM), just MOVE, from lurking to commenting, from commenting to sharing, from sharing to leading, from leading to actually feeling like they belong here and aren’t about to be judged for saying the wrong thing… (OOOF I love that bit because it’s so real).

Because you can add 100 new people to a space, but if nobody moves, speaks, shares, wobbles, asks, WOOPs, or even clears their throat, you’ve basically built a very quiet waiting room with nice branding and maybe a plant in the corner, and I don’t know about you, but that feels a bit sad AF, kinda like a party where everyone brought snacks and then stood in the corner pretending to text (we’ve all been that person, don’t lie).

💡 LIGHTBULB MOMENT #2 (OBVS BUT ALSO NOT SAID ENOUGH OUT LOUD)

People don’t stay quiet because they’re lazy (pfffffttt, no).

There are loadsa reasons, obvs, but ONE big one I see a lot is they don’t feel SAFE yet. If everything in a space feels polished, perfect, expert-y, impressive, “look how well I’ve got my shit together”, people watch instead of jumping in, because where do you put the clunky thought, the half-formed idea, the messy middle that isn’t ready to be tied up with a cute bow yet?

So they scroll, maybe hit the like, perhaps save for laters, telling themselves they’ll come back later (this is where we all nod)… and we all know later sometimes never comes. Later is just a polite way of saying “this feels a bit awkward right now and my nervous system would rather go make a cuppa and pretend I’ll be brave tomorrow”.

💡 LIGHTBULB MOMENT #3 (THIS IS THE BIT I CARE ABOUT MOST, OBVS, SO STAY WITH ME)

Micro-commitment beats motivation every single time. Not “post something amazing”, not “share your whole life story”, but “comment once”. Say the clunky thing. Share the wobble. Admit the doubt. Celebrate the tiny WOOP without apologising for it or adding twelve disclaimers.

That’s how confidence actually gets built — not by being brave once, but by being allowed to be human often. ON REPEAT!

💡 LIGHTBULB MOMENT #4 (THIS THREAD RUNS THROUGH EVERYTHING I TEACH, BTW)

Content on its own does NOT build community (I mean it can exist, but it won’t carry the room). It’s content → conversation → connection → micro-commitment, and if you skip the middle bits, nothing sticks (nothingggg). NAFF ALL

People don’t bond over posts, they bond over shared experience. They stay when they think, “oh… it’s not just me then” (which is wildly underrated as a feeling).

And THIS is where I think so many people get it backwards, like assembling IKEA furniture upside down and then wondering why the drawer won’t open and you’ve got six screws left over. (HELLO ME WAY BACK THEN)

They’re focused on growing the community, when the real magic happens when you grow the HUMANS inside it, when people feel permission to be clunky, to wobble, to say the thing before it’s neat, to WOOP without cringing, to show up without performing like they’re on stage.

That’s when a space gets energy. Gravity. Culture. And THEN - TOTES naturally - other people want in.

Not because of a link. But because of the FEELING (which you cannot fake, try as people might).

SO YEAH, THIS IS WHAT I’M ACTUALLY BUILDING (AND WHY I GET A BIT FIRED UP ABOUT IT)

I’m not so obsessed with traffic. I’m obsessed with movement. I’m not trying to build a big community, I’m trying to build a badass brave one, where the messy middle is normal, where WOBBLES are spoken, where WOOPS are celebrated, where being human is enough (read that again if you need to).

And honestly… that feels pretty EPIC AF to me.

THIS GOT EVEN LOUDER AFTER DOING COMMUNITY AUDITS

(If you want the deeper rabbit hole, I wrote about it HERE - because WOW did it make some stuff click.)

PS (OBVS THERE’S A PS, THERE’S ALWAYS A PS)

If reading this stirred a little “oh shit… yeah… that’s me” moment, that’s exactly why the Backroom exists. It’s the space for the stuff we don’t say out loud elsewhere, the wobble doubts, the half-formed thoughts, the messy middle.

What’s said in the Backroom stays in the Backroom, because safety matters (a lot).

And if you’re reading this thinking, “ok Mimi, how the eff do I see my community like this?”… the 7-day free trial is open till Sunday 12th, and then some juicy stuff is about to drop, so if you fancy coming in for the real humans + real convos + occasional WOOP/WOOF energy, you know where the door is.

SEE YOU IN THE BACKROOM

WOOPING TOGETHER. WINNING TOGETHER.

OBVS. IYKYK 🤘

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