The shame I didn’t realize I was carrying

For a long time, I thought the hardest part of healing was calming my anxiety or managing my nervous system when I got triggered.

It wasn’t.

The hardest part was the quiet shame underneath it all.

The belief that said,

“You should be past this by now.”

It sounded responsible.

Mature.

Self-aware.

But it was actually keeping my nervous system stuck.

Every time my body froze or spiraled in a moment I “knew better,” I added pressure instead of safety. I treated my nervous system like something to fix instead of something trying to protect me.

What changed everything was being witnessed instead of corrected.

Inside The Nest, we don’t rush each other through healing or pretend we should have it figured out by now. We talk about the moments people usually keep to themselves. The spiral after the conversation. The guilt after the boundary. The shame that shows up when progress isn’t linear.

There’s something regulating about being in a space where no one responds with “just reframe it” or “at least you’re aware.” Instead, the language is, “That makes sense,” and “You’re not behind,” and “Your body is doing what it learned to do.”

That kind of shared understanding creates safety. And safety is what actually allows change to stick.

The Nest isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about practicing self-trust in real time, with other people who get how messy this part can be.

If this resonates, you’d likely feel at home there.

Question for you:

Where do you notice shame sneaking into your healing process right now, even when you’re doing your best?

(If you want to sit in conversations like this more often, The Nest is open. You’re welcome.)

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