The Confidence Gender Gap · the skool CLASSIFIEDS

Jennifer Silbert

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3h (edited) • General Discussion

The Confidence Gender Gap

Message to amazeballs women doubting their decision making abilities....

I see you. I still experience self-doubt when it comes to advocating for me or my business.

We're not lazy. We're not unmotivated. And we're definitely not incapable.

My guess is you can knock out a to-do list like a wildfire.

You handle logistics, details, and responsibilities with ease.

But when it’s time to:

ask for what you want
hold a boundary
make a bold move in your business
advocate for your needs
or stand firmly behind a decision

Something happens.

You hesitate. You overthink. You look for reassurance. You wait for clarity that never quite arrives.

And afterward?

You don’t just feel stuck.

You feel disappointed in yourself.

I chalk it up to conditioning.

Years ago, I picked up a book that finally put language to what I had been seeing in women for decades—including myself.

It was The Confidence Code by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman (highly recommend).

In it, the authors revealed something both validating and infuriating:

There is a confidence gap between men and women—not because of competence, but because of conditioning.

The research showed that women are far more likely to:

doubt themselves despite being highly capable
overanalyze and delay decisions
avoid risk unless they feel “fully ready”
struggle to stand behind decisions when challenged

Sound familiar?

As a confidence coach who works deeply with women around good girl conditioning, this wasn’t surprising—but it was clarifying. Because once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

Here’s the quiet cost no one talks about:

Indecision doesn’t just slow you down.

It slowly erodes your confidence.

Every time you reopen a decision

Every time you seek one more opinion

Every time you soften, justify, or over-explain...

You send yourself a message: I don’t trust me.

And I know this pattern intimately.

Despite having made thousands—maybe millions—of decisions in my life, I struggled to own them when they were questioned, criticized, or met with resistance.

So I compensated.

I over-explained.

I tried to get buy-in.

I pulled back instead of standing firm.

Not because I wasn’t capable.

But because I didn’t trust my internal authority.

And that is where so many powerful women get stuck.

So I took what I learned and created an ecosystem to help break this cycle.

I called it Decision Diva👑

Because Decision-making is not just a skill.

It’s a confidence muscle.

And when it’s weak, everything feels harder: